A daughter has ignited an online debate after revealing her “manipulative” mother demands all of her time.
The anonymous woman took to Gransnet to ask for advice. Posting on the online forum she wrote: “My 89-year-old mother has suddenly become so demanding I can’t cope!”
The 64-year-old went on to explain: “Mum has suddenly decided, she needs me there more than anyone else.”
She says her mother phones her constantly at work and if she doesn’t response immediately, “she gives me a hard time”.
“My daughters and brothers (2) often phone to say they are going round but mum puts them off — saying things like she is just going out or she has other visitors,” she explained. “Yet, when I phone she tells me she has not seen or heard from anyone all week.”
The woman says she usually keeps Thursday’s free to help her mother around her house, but “this week we had an emergency at work and I had to work more than usual. Mum was livid and we ended up arguing about it”.
“AIBU [am I being unreasonable] to think that I might just want a life of my own at some point? OR do I just resign myself to the fact I am lucky to have such fabulous grandchildren AND still have my mum around?”
Users were quick to comment, with many calling her mother “selfish” and “manipulative”.
“Oh dear, you do have a lot on your plate. Time to prioritise and make some time for yourself, you can’t look after everyone else if you don’t care for yourself,” one commentator wrote.
Another added: “I think your mother is being very manipulative here. You need to start telling her no.”
A third wrote: “This is hard for you ….we all feel responsible and that it should be our ‘duty’ to look after aging parents, but you need to take care of yourself too. Elderly people can be so manipulative and you feel so guilty if you don’t respond!”