Starting new relationships after a previous partner dies is difficult for anyone no matter what age, but when there are children in the mix it can become all that more complicated.
For one worried gran, whose husband died three years ago, introducing her new partner to her sons is proving to be more challenging than she initially thought.
Taking to online forum Gransnet, the woman explained how her adult sons are finding it difficult to accept the new man in their mother’s life.
“My husband died nearly 3 years ago. I have recently met an old friend and we have started a relationship. The trouble is with my grown up sons (35 and 29). They don’t approve and don’t want to meet him,” she said.
Unsure how to handle the situation and keep all parties happy, the gran said she feels guilty for spending time with her new partner and is unsure how to integrate him into the family without upsetting her children.
“This makes me feel guilty every time I am with him and spoils our time together. I don’t know what to do. He would love to meet my family, but I’m afraid of my sons being rude,” she continued.
Eager to help the woman enjoy her new relationship, a number of forum users jumped in to support the gran and provide advice.
“So sad you feel guilty, you’re not doing anything wrong. You deserve friends. They have their lives and you have yours. Maybe it will take time for them to realise it. In the meantime enjoy your relationship,” one person commented.
“Maybe keep everyone separate and enjoy your relationship with each other rather than try and get them all together,” another suggested.
While others, were a little more brutal in their response, claiming the sons were being selfish and perhaps were concerned about inheritance.
“Seems to me it is a worry about future inheritance. Surely they would want their mum to be happy and not alone if that is what you want?” someone queried.
While a second said: “Your sons need to grow up and stop being very selfish! You need to tell them that you love them and always will and that you loved their dad BUT you will live your life as you see fit, and not according to them; say you really don’t want this to come between you!”