Relationships

Gran, Nan or Mimi: The tricky task of choosing a grandparent name

Mar 23, 2018

There are many name options available. Source: Pexels.

Are you a Granny or a Grandma? Or a Grandpa or Granddad? Perhaps you prefer Nanna or Pops? Or a Nonna, Oma, Lao Lao, or an invention that’s all your grandkids’ work?

While it may seem a simple decision, choosing what your grandkids call you can take some negotiating and compromise to avoid any awkward cross-overs or clashes with other grandparents. That’s especially true because although the number of names available is seemingly endless, if you want to stick to a traditional moniker, there could be some competition for the title.

Besides that, whether you’ve had a ‘grandparent name’ for yourself in mind for years, or you’re happy to let the grandchildren decide for you, the way your beloved littlies address you can carry a wealth of emotional significance, making it important to many grandparents.

So, what to do when another grandparent wants the same name as you? Or if your grandchild doesn’t like your choice? Should you change it, or stick to your guns?

“This generation of grandparents takes the whole naming process more seriously than ever,” Lin Wellford, coauthor of The New Grandparents Name Book, says, which is possibly no surprise. After all, as Wellford notes, “how many times in your life do you get to name yourself?”.

These are the common stress-points when it comes to selecting a grandparent name.

When another grandparent wants the same name

Grandparents can run into a whole range of issues they may not expect amid the excitement of welcoming a grandchild – especially if it’s their first time. And while they may have their heart set on a name, they might have to fight another grandparent for it. “You can choose a name and lobby for it, but there’s no guarantee that you’re going to end up with it,” Wellford says.

One way around the issue is to use a firstname as part of the name to differentiate them. For example, if there’s already a Grandma, perhaps there could be a Grandma Julie, or a Grandma Julie and a Grandma Claire.

When a grandchild prefers their own choice!

Another issue could arise if a grandchild struggles to say the name you’ve chosen or simply doesn’t like it – so chooses one of their own.

“I’ve heard more stories where the grandchild comes up with a name that may be a mangled, funny version of what he or she hears – nothing that the grandparent would have ever thought of in a million years – but they fall in love with it and that’s that,” Wellford says.

One solution is to adopt a shortened version of more traditional names such as Granddad and Grandpa, so it simply becomes Gramps or Pa, giving the children who can’t say the name an easy version to use. Another solution is just not to worry about it too much – other grandchildren may not struggle with the name at all and happily use it.

When you follow family traditions

Some grandparents may choose to follow a family tradition, just like some parents do when choosing their child’s middle name. Whether you want to follow a pattern through history, or you just want to honour a deceased relative, it can be a great way to keep their memory alive.

However, difficulties can arise when you want to deviate from tradition and stop the pattern when it’s your turn. As a discussion on grandparents.com makes clear, doing something different with a grandparent name is harmless, as long as the grandparent is still taking part in the tradition of grandparenting in the most meaningful way, by helping their grandchildren to grow up safe, happy and well-prepared for adult life.

When you want something new and unique

Meanwhile, others might want a name that’s completely unusual and rare, in order to stand out from more widely-used names. Writing for grandparents.com, Beverly Beckham reveals she chose ‘Mimi due to the emotions she felt when practicing it in the run-up to the birth of her first grandchild. Since then, it has made her “stop in her tracks” when she hears her grandchildren using it, and “makes her heart swell”, while always making her smile.

“I love the word. Mimi. I love hearing it and saying it and writing it and thinking it. It is my favorite name ever,” she writes.

If you prefer being called by your first time, or a ‘cool’ name, you’re far from alone, as an article in Mamamia points out. “It’s the new wave of grandparents who don’t quite see themselves as elderly enough to have earnt a traditional title and want something unique to just them,” the piece by Shauna Anderson says.

As a whole, grandparent names are evolving and moving away from the traditional names such as Grandma and Grandpa. While some choose to remain with tradition, factors such as the changing family structure, unique family traits or stories or even culture and heritage are playing a bigger part in the names we choose today.