Grandma’s ‘cold poop’ advice on cheating ex wins fans online

Grandmothers can usually be trusted to give no-nonsense advice, so if you’re thinking of getting back together with a no-good ex-partner, don’t expect her to mince words. 

And that’s exactly what one woman found when she told her grandmother, who she calls her best friend, that she’d reconnected with an ex-girlfriend who’d cheated on her multiple times. 

Posting on Imagur, the woman, who goes by the username NoCapes, revealed that her grandmother reminded her that she broke up with her ex-girlfriend for a reason and advised her to not fall for the old ‘cold shit syndrome’. And though it sounds a bit strange and slightly gross, you definitely get her point after hearing her thinking … 

The grandmother explains that when your poop is still warm, you know it’s poop, therefore you wouldn’t go near it, but if the poop gets cold and hard, some people could think it’s chocolate. But a quick try will remind you of what it really is!

Read more: Great-grandmother mentors teens who viciously attacked her

So, according to the woman’s grandma, if someone’s cheated on you, remember, they’re poop, not chocolate, and stay well away.

She’s far from the only grandmother to hand out some very down-to-earth dating and relationships advice. Kirsten King wrote on Buzzfeed that her grandma’s words of wisdom on bringing home a beau to meet the family was just this: “if you’re bringing someone home, open a couple beers and it makes everything easier”. 

Or, as Facebook user Caitlin Sparks wrote of her grandmother’s thoughts on marital relations, also featured in Buzzfeed: “Sex isn’t a sin so long as it’s done right”. This grandmother on Reddit knew, meanwhile, how to tell you’d had too much of a good thing: “[Sex] is like shopping for shoes. You wouldn’t buy a pair of shoes without trying them on first, but you certainly don’t need to try on every pair in the store!”.

The Imagur post on ‘cold poop’ generated plenty of responses, with many users praising her grandmother for the helpful advice. 

Read more: Grandmother’s fury over babysitting demands during retirement

But not everyone seemed to understand the analogy, with one user commenting that if you can’t tell the difference between between poop and chocolate “you’ve got bigger problems to work out” than just a cheating ex-girlfriend! 

What’s the best advice a grandparent gave you?

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