‘We had a poop knife’: Families share bizarre and funny home traditions

All families have their own little traditions that make them unique, but some people can get a shock when they move out and realise how bizarre their family ‘traditions’ are.

A man, shared a story on the online forum Reddit recently, revealing at 22-years-old he learned that not every family had a ‘poop knife’ (a specially designated knife for cutting up excrement).

“Our family had a poop knife,” he wrote. “It was an old rusty kitchen knife that hung on a nail in the laundry room, only to be used for that purpose. It was normal to walk through the hallway and have someone call out ‘hey, can you get me the poop knife’.

“I thought it was standard kit. You have your plunger, your toilet brush, and your poop knife.”

In the post, the man details an embarrassing story in which he learns his family’s bizarre toilet artifact is not a common household item.

Readers replied with their own strange family secrets, and some of them are much more unusual than others.

One commentator said their family use a ‘poop ruler’ instead, explaining: “My family doesn’t have a poop knife, but we have a poop ruler that cuts up poop. So you aren’t alone”.

Another added their family use a spatula “affectionately” referred to as ‘the shatula’, adding: “Obviously, it stays in the upstairs bathroom, which is the proper place to go for such an event, and we don’t use it in the kitchen”.

One user revealed their grandparents also used a poop knife dubbed the ‘mashitty’. “Poop knife is barbaric. Our family uses poop scissors,” another commentator wrote.

And the replies didn’t stop at ‘poop knives’ — one commentator revealed their family had a secret pee jar, which was kept on the kitchen window sill behind the curtain, incase they couldn’t make it to the bathroom.

They wrote: “We had a pee jar. My Dad used to keep a tupperware on the kitchen window sill behind the curtains and when he had to pee, instead of walking to another floor where there was a toilet, he’d pee in the jar and dump it down the sink, then rinse it with hot water. My mom would throw them out and then he would replace them. Me and my brother used them for years before we realised how weird and f****ed up it was. You’re not alone.”

On a separate Reddit thread, more users shared their own family traditions outside of the bathroom – with some incredible results.

The thread began by asking: “What is the strangest tradition your family has?” One user replied: “I honestly don’t know how it all started but every time we cooked up a turkey for a holiday my grandfather would always give it a slap on its way into the oven. He passed several years ago but we still slap the turkey on his behalf.”

Another user added: “We have a couple but my favourite is “ice cream runs”. On a school night my mom would tuck me into bed, turn out the lights and pretend to go to bed too. Then ten minutes later she’d come barreling into my room, flick the lights and scream “ice cream run!” The whole house would get up and go for sundaes in our pyjamas. I’m definitely going to keep this up when I have kids!”

Meanwhile one user shared their own funny tradition, adding: “It’s not really a tradition more of something Nana does, maternal grandmother, every single time we’re at her house. She gains an audience and starts playing the piano….well she’s really just kinda banging away on it and playing the same dam tune for every song and thinks she knows how to play piano. We love her and don’t have the heart to tell her that she’s beating up her out of tune piano and it sounds like cats fighting.”

What’s a weird thing your family did that you thought was normal until you moved out?