Daughter complains of ‘irresponsible parents who didn’t plan retirement’

As we get older, there’s one thing most people hope they’ll be able to rely on forever: our beloved offspring.

After all, after a lifetime of raising children, caring for them, paying for them, comforting them, and making them the centre of your world, you’d expect they’d be there for you in return.

But should children automatically be expected to return the favour, or should that right be earned?

A young mother has vented her frustration at her parents and in-laws, both of which she says failed to properly plan for their retirement and have now become a burden on her own life.

Writing on online forum Mumsnet, the woman said her problems had come to a head in recent days because her “alcoholic” mother-in-law had lost her job and asked to move in since she couldn’t stay at her own home anymore.

“She’s not got anywhere to go and she wants to move in with me, my [partner] and a 7 month old [daughter] … I know she’s down but it’s my maternity leave and I want to spend it with my daughter, it’s the time I’m never going to get back and we don’t really get on.”

While some might argue the time together could be a good opportunity for her mother-in-law to bond with her new granddaughter, the woman complained that she was sick of her “irresponsible” parents and in-laws coming to her for handouts.

Aside from wanting to live with her, it seems her mother-in-law and her own parents have also asked for financial help over the years.

“So fed up of my parents and [husband’s] parents constantly expecting financial help from us when we now have our own little family to look after,” she wrote. “They should have planned for their retirement/bad times! So irresponsible! Makes me look like a horrible daughter in law but I just want to focus on my baby now!”

She certainly has a point in some regards. It is our responsibility to properly plan our retirement and most people do everything they can to ensure they don’t become a burden to their children. Unfortunately it’s not always so black and white, and unforeseen circumstances can leave many over-60s struggling to make ends meet later in life.

As some commenters on the forum pointed out, “if the roles were reversed, most mothers would let their alcoholic sons [or daughters] stay” with them for however long they needed to get back on their feet.

And while the full history of the woman’s relationship with her parents is unknown, they did presumably put a roof over her head for most of her life and pay for education, food, clothes and other necessities until she left home.

Most commenters on the forum threw their support behind the young mum and told her insist her mother-in-law find somewhere else to stay.

What are your thoughts on this? Do children have a responsibility to look after their parents later in life? Or should parents make sure they’re not a burden to their children?