Relationships

New romance: ‘I want my partner to change his will for me’

Jun 15, 2018

The anonymous woman wants her partner to change his will. Source: Getty.

A woman has threatened to call off her relationship unless her lover changes his will to allow her to remain living in his house in the event of his death.

The woman, named only as Stephanie, penned a letter to Daily Mail agony aunt Bel Mooney to ask for help with the tricky situation admitting she is worried about how his four grown-up children will react if he does make the amendments in her favour.

Stephanie, 69, said she has been dating the man for two years and the couple, who live 50 miles apart, recently decided to move in together and live in the 72-year-old’s home, which he owns. She added that he has already changed his will once, to allow her to remain in the house for 18-months after his death, but she now wants him to rethink the terms again.

She wrote: “Two years ago, I met a lovely man and last year we took the decision that we would live together. He told me this week he has changed his will for when I am living with him. Previously, his house would be sold on his death and the proceeds split between his four children, but now (should anything happen to him) I will be allowed to remain in it for up to 18 months, so that I can look for somewhere else to live while the house is being sold.

“We live 50 miles apart and meet at weekends, alternating visits to the other’s house. I have made friends in his village, joined the local WI, he’s found me an allotment, and all looked rosy for us until this week.”

Stephanie admitted she is worried about the cost of moving back into a rented property, should her partner die, saying she would “much rather he had changed his will so that I could lie in the house until I could no longer manage on my own (or die)”. She justified her thoughts by explaining that the British village in which her lover lives, would be unaffordable to her if she needed to move out.

She continued: “If I move in with him, I think I might as well just make myself homeless. All of the costs needed for moving (deposit, first month’s rent, removal costs etc) would make it too expensive for me to even think about. I have explained all this to him and suggested that there’s no point in seeing each other if this is going to happen.

“I have four cats and they stay indoors overnight while I go to his house. They would add to the problem of finding property to rent. When I explained my thoughts, my partner has suggested that he should have a word with his children, but I don’t want to be the cause of a possible family split. To be honest, I think I would much rather he had changed his will so that I could live in the house until I could no longer manage on my own (or die), with neither me nor my family having claims on the house.”

Mooney responded by saying that Stephanie’s decision to end the romance if the will isn’t changed was perhaps a bit rash, replying: “You frame your letter very reasonably, yet in the end you seem to be offering your partner a choice: either he looks at his will again (changing it more obviously to your practical advantage) — or you not only refuse to live with him, you think there is no point in continuing the relationship. Although I understand your dilemma — I don’t believe these are the only options.”

The agony aunt questioned why the couple could not continue to live apart, as they are now, “rather than allow this inheritance business to spoil a good relationship”.

She also said that the partner’s children would be perfectly justified in feeling slighted by their father’s will change. She said: “Such feelings would not show them to be unpleasant grasping people, just human beings with normal aspirations and feelings of what is right. Suppose they have children in urgent need of help with education or property? It would be natural for them to think they had a greater right to a share of the property sooner rather than much later