My open letter to every man over 60

Dear men over the age of 60 throughout Australia and the rest of the world, I am writing this to you

Dear men over the age of 60 throughout Australia and the rest of the world, I am writing this to you with anger in my head and my heart. Last week I went on a blind date. It was the first time I had seen someone since my husband died seven years ago.

I’m a 62-year-old woman and a younger friend had set me up with a 63-year-old man. I went into the date feeling confident, albeit a little wary of what was going to unfold, but I hadn’t come close to anticipating what happened.

I was told straight out that he would never date me seriously. When I asked why, thinking it was some kind of joke, he looked at me straight in the eye and said, older women aren’t sexy.

I stood up and walked straight out.

Why do older men believe that women of the same age aren’t worthy of them? Why do they believe that women in their 60s aren’t sexy? And more importantly, why haven’t they ever looked in a mirror?

Once I read an article about a 60-year-old American Apparel underwear model, Jacky O’Shaughnessy. The beauty was found in New York and handed a modelling contract last year – the same year that her partner turned to her, told her she looks too old and said he’s embarrassed to be seen in public with her.

What is so wrong with women over 60?

We have wrinkles, so do you.

We have grey hair, so do you.

We have baggage, so do you.

We have children, so do you.

We’ve had careers, so have you.

We’ve had mortgages, so have you.

We’ve had ups and downs, so have you.

We’ve had family battles, so have you.

We want to spend time being happy, so do you.

We want to embrace our sexuality, so do you.

We want to experience companionship, so do you.

We want to make new friends, so do you.

You see I fail to see how we’re different. I can’t see why you seem to put yourselves above us and lump us in a “no good” category.

We don’t advertise for men with large pockets, fit bodies and dazzling smiles. We want friendship and fun – so why can’t we make it work together?

40 years ago you would have jumped at the opportunity to spend time together and make friendships or more, so what has changed?

It’s all well and good to want someone younger, prettier and fitter than the over 60 women, but you have to remember – you’re not necessarily young, fit and handsome either and expecting that while disregarding us is rude and absurd.

Although I didn’t have my heart broken, that blind date made me feel so much hurt that I was a write off from the outset.

To all men over the age of 60 throughout Australia and the rest of the world, if you’re going to label us, just remember that we and the younger generation, can do the same to you.


One over 60 woman

  1. John Reid  

    As a woman who has labelled me with every other man over 60, you deserve no answer.

    • Allison  

      Get over yourself!
      What makes YOU a standout from the rest?

    • Margaret Palisi  

      Are you for real John Reid.I agree not ALL men are the same, however, this IS the opinion of the many. Just ask them, or listen to their comments when they talk about women. Or ask your “available” mates. If we don’t look like a front page fashion model we are considered past it. I livr in an over 55 village, and believe me, many are talking about what they want in a partner. They would have to go back to their youth. And unless loaded, they wouldn’t get a first look.

      • Dianne Carter  

        Obviously Mr Reid, you don’t get out in the singles scene too often. There are some men who prefer someone close to their own age, but they are the minority. It’s laughable watching 60 something guys puffing up like peacocks, chatting up 30 year olds. Wonder how they would feel if their 25 year old daughter came home with a 60 year old boyfriend!

    • JB  

      Get a life John. You just gave an answer btw.
      And to draw this to yourself smacks of not being adult. There are certainly men out there that are only looking for younger ‘sexier’ women.
      Let me tell you, the majority or older men present themselves as sloppy, dull people, especially on dating sites. And then to expect a ‘sexy’ woman??!!

    • cathy sexton  

      There’s an occasional male John who is discerning and appreciates maturity but unfortunately most are wanting to live the dream….younger ….sexy (to them) etc etc. Many women over 60 even enjoy sex….and we don’t need viagra.

    • Pamela  

      This woman has ONE bad date experience and has the gall to ask “Why do older men believe that women of the same age aren’t worthy of them? Why do they believe that women in their 60s aren’t sexy? And more importantly, why haven’t they ever looked in a mirror?”

      If she can’t see that EVERY man is different, she doesn’t deserve to have one!

    • Maxine jorgensen  

      Aren’t you the empathetic one. Of course it’s all about you not this lady’s bad experience. Ahhhh
      Another day another dud. You don’t disappoint.

    • Judith Gibbs  

      You are a one off mate… Very few and far between are men like you. Good on you for being a grown up but please don’t take the experience of this women and indeed most women as not deserving an answer. It would have been kinder to apologise on behalf of most unrealistic men and tell her there are more out there like you. Her experience can not be denied.

    • Frank  

      agreed John – it’s ‘fun’ and ‘fair game’ for women to criticise men – after all, we are big strong men and are expected to take it

      but return a slight suggestion of the same to women – and they will Hunt You Down and excoriate you to high heaven.

      and then they wonder why they can’t get a date.

  2. It’s true and not just restricted to those of us over 60. Starts at about 40 really. My experience and observation has been that men prefer their women to be at least 20 years younger and it seems the older they get the younger they want their women to be.
    I am 67 now and the only chance of a relationship for me would be with someone nearly or already dead!
    Fortunately I am extremely happy on my own.

    • This is so true. Single males in my friend circle assert that the women they fancy are 15 – 20 yrs younger than them. Which means that men who fancy 60 yr old women are 75 +.

    • Patricia Robinson  

      Erin don’t give up. I met the love of my life ( one of them anyway) online 3 1/2 years ago .I am 70 he is 69 ..The sex is the best ever for both of us , and we share a wicked sense of humour.

    • Shirley Foreman  

      I’m afraid men more often than not get their capabilities mixed up with their ambitions!!!!

  3. Dianne Carter  

    I hear you. I have been single for 5 years and haven’t been asked out or even “hit on” in that time. I am involved in the latin dance scene, where there are both men and woman in various age groups, and I watch the guys in my age group drool over the tiny young ladies of asian decent. I find it quite repulsive, not because the girls are asian, but these guys are old enough to be their grandfathers. I’ve spoken to male friends about this and I seem to get the same answer. Over 50’s are the invisible middle aged woman! Older men seem to think the young ones give them some kind of prestige. It makes me angry that ladies 50 and over are classed as past their prime and therefore not worthy of a second thought.
    You’re right in saying these guys have the same amount of wear and tear as we have. I give up on trying to understand them.

    I wish you luck for the future. Personally I have all but given up on meeting someone.

    From an almost 60 year old

  4. don evans  

    2 the lady who went thru all that crap, there r some real guys out there who just want a loving partner, we r all getting older and probably been thru a lot of crap, but some of us would love a loving mature lady in their 60s who is for real.
    cheers don

    • Goodon you don,I’m nearly 60 and id like to think that if i was looking for a nice,kind,real man who’s not like a pedo and wanting a young girl that there would be more men out there actually looking for someone to have fun with,sit home some nights,go to dinner,family things…you. Sound like a real man

    • Yvonne  

      It would be refreshing if a lot more men had that attidude. 😁

    • Jody  

      To Don Evans,

      What a nice message to hear, that there are still decent men your age, our age age bracket who value , seasoned , loving women with wisdom , intellect and fun to share

  5. Ann Rutherford  

    As Sheila Hancock said in her book Just Me, once a woman reaches the age of 50+ you disappear no one sees you, ignored by waiters, reception staff, bar staff, I could go on and on. My late fiancé told me that he once went out with a younger woman, he didn’t enjoy it as they had nothing in common!

    I have been on my own since he died 13 years ago and have never been given a second look, I am slim, told I scrub up well, intelligent, etc., etc. At least my family and pets love me and that will do.

  6. cee  

    I think that what you say is true of a lot of men over 60 … but not all of them.. In my opinion (for what its worth) the men who go overseas and marry very young women do so because they can not get women in their own country…. The women in the poor third world countries will put up with just about anything to get out of the situations they are in… The women in progressive countries will NOT take the same crap….
    And the young women in progressive countries who marry much older men usually, but not always, do it for financial gain……

  7. Alan  

    Well, while I can certainly understand us old farts drooling over younger girls (ha ha need a damn bib at times), I really cannot understand those that insist on trying to form a relationship with them. I mean, nature just doesn’t support such arrangements and sooner or later, a guy is highly likely to find himself with a younger partner that strays off to find someone that can make her happy in EVERY way.
    As for me, well certainly I drool, we all do, but I am also very realistic about my own capabilities at 61 years of age. Oh I’m far from dead yet, ha ha, but a dating type relationship with a lady twenty years younger would certainly change that. As for ladies my own age, only thing I can see with most that is not attractive is that many are way too overweight. Sure, a little overweight at our age is inevitable, but some people really do let themselves go a little too much. Aside from that, and I must say I have seen many ladies my age and even older that are very attractive, and certainly still turn my head, just with the way things are in this country these days, I prefer not to make it all that obvious (don’t want to get done for sexual harassment for simply admiring an attractive woman after all)

    • clifford  

      Hi Alan
      I had lady of Asian origin …I was young and Naive ..I was 60 at the time …I found women of my own age where looking for a clone of there last husband with ” Modifications ” …so after years and many thousands of dollars I went ” Asian ” ….and screwed up all new chums …I was used …and financially screwed ,and Emotionally drained !! anyway .ever the optimist ,jumped back on the horse …and I’m off again ( 18 months in this new relationship ) she has two young children …great !! noise back in the house… rephrase noise back in our “home ” she is much younger than I ..but, she is a mother and a good one ,,,she has a beautiful home in her country …but not a life !! so now we have two beautiful “happy homes ” …….and life is absolutely fantastic …!! may I suggest ..Blokes our age ,stop “practicing for death ” ….and live the dream … I am . and I’m only 67 yrs young ..I’m fit .I do not jog, I do not walk I do not live on rabbit food ..I enjoy a drink I go Roller skating in the park .. my new family is what it is …a family and I’m enjoying it immensely …your dead a long long time !! I’m alive and going flat knacker !! have a great day …tomorrow you could be ” Brown Bread ” ….lol

    • Judith Gibbs  

      and many men have a pot belly and are bald….

  8. Angela perkins  

    I hear you, most men see something different when they look in a mirror, than we do. Most of them look at least 20 years older then they actually are

  9. Meriel  

    Well this is interesting I am 63 and like to live with zest, and am overweight but move energetically, I have noticed now I’m in a bigger town just recently that I’m getting approving glances from men my age, that does wonders for my ego. Not that I’m looking cos I’ve got a toyboy (he’s 14months younger…lol) and likes mature figures, rubenesque he calls it…. So ladies cheer up they are out there just need to find them… Being happy and joyful is attractive in and of itself.

  10. Adele Ford  

    Try not to let this mans ignorance upset you. Old school men like this one are not worthy of you.
    I am 70 plus and my husband is very fulfilled and happy with me.,we have been married for 46years
    This date of yours would be surprised to learn that younger woman are not interested in old men.
    I hope he will be a lonely old man, he deserves to be…..

  11. Robyn Gardner  

    Dont they have mirrors in their homes? Its true that when women get to sixty or older we look for a different relationship from those in our youth. Our mindset and body and needs change. I prefer to think we get better as we age. One important lesson I have learnt in my 60 years is friendship grows a deeper love than sexual passion. But there are a lot of men out there who want a younger woman to try to relive that passion. Its just to prove to themselves that they are still studs. Poor fools. Older women are definately more beautiful.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *