My grandchildren don’t want to spend time with me

Just like all grandparents, I love spending time my grandkids. Nothing beats hearing their laughs, their warm hugs and seeing

Just like all grandparents, I love spending time my grandkids.

Nothing beats hearing their laughs, their warm hugs and seeing their smiling faces.

But it appears they’re not too keen on spending time with me.

I haven’t seen my three grandies these school holidays, in fact, I haven’t seen them in a few months.

When I do see them, their eyes are glued to phone screens or iPad screens or the TV – and they’re definitely not keen on any of the suggestions for fun that I come up with.

I remember when I was kid how excited I’d get about visiting my grandparents – about baking cookies with them and spending time with them.

Times seem to have changed.

My grandkids aren’t interested in going for walks, having a picnic or visiting the beach.

They seem to be more interested in expensive things such as theme parks or they’d rather sit at home and play computer games.

Maybe that’s why they don’t want to come and visit us?

Keeping up with the grandkids can be hard work these days, especially when I think back about the era I came from.

They seem to want, want, want – maybe they’re just spoilt more these days?

I love them to bits and I love spending time with them, but sadly I just don’t feel like they want to spend time with me.

We’d love to take them to theme parks or the movies, but times the cost by five and that becomes very expensive for pensioners like their grandmother and me.

Finding inexpensive, fun things to do can be so hard – and they’re at that age (10 to 15) where it’s very hard to get them interested in anything.

Have we become boring in our old age?

It can be a challenge for grandparents to have fun with their grandkids in this day and age, especially when a lot of fun things cost a fortune.

When we have had the grandies they complain about what we eat and where we eat.

Their diets are so unhealthy, but they love it!

Are we being the fun police by eating healthy food they might not like?

Next time we have them we’re going to try and be a bit more “fun” and see if that’s part of the problem.

I know deep down they love us, hopefully next holidays they’ll come and spend some time with us and show us how to have a bit more fun ourselves!

I miss them so much!

Do you see your grandkids often? Can you relate to this reader’s problem?


  1. Maria Evans  

    My sentiments exactly….I have four between 12 and 21 and I don’t get a call even for Christmas or birthday. I used to send $50 for both but never received a thank you so I stopped. I have 6 in total 600 dollars is a lot of money on pension. My daughters two children are prompted by her some of the time but more often than not she tells me to pull my head in. I loved it when they were small. Feeling like you have a purpose and can pass on “something” is vital for grandparents, mine taught me so much. I was so sad when I lost my grandparents. I am sure I won’t even be missed.

    • I understand this. My grandchildren are adults now. The youngest is 16. I so miss those days when they were you get and wanted to spend d time with me. All I really want now is a call from them now and again. My daughter says they are just busy getting on with their own lives and I do understand this and I miss them. They all live at least 6 hours travel away from me and I ache to hear their voices sometimes. I also gave a son who contacts me on my by phone 4 times a ye. My birthday, Christmas, mothers day and St Patricks day. He only lives 2 hours away. It would bring me so much joy to see him or to hear from him a little more. I sometimes wonder if maybe I’m asking too much.

    • Marie  

      I am with you. Did send money, got a thank you when Mum or Dad made them call. I have travelled a few thousand kms to see them but they have even stood me up, not bothered to call at all. Have sent messages via fb and got a couple back from the girls,not the older boy, so I have missed seeing the grow up at all. My loss, but they don’t know their dads side of the family much at all. The cost to have them visit is huge.

  2. Sue  

    I have not seen my grandchildren for years, doubt I would recognise them. Their parents seem to have been poisoned against me by their father. So one holiday, not an issue.

    • Hi Sue,
      Sad to hear this but can comprehend how it happens! Just remember they have lost so much in not being in touch with you which is sad for the kids!!

  3. David Cousens  

    It is to be expected during the teenage years. All of a sudden their world is expanding and they are becoming part of it and they need to get out and explore it. New relationships with their peers, changing relationships with their parents. It’s time they need not money

    • facebook_elda.quinton  

      I agree David. It’s to be expected. They’re not little kids anymore

  4. Dianne Evans  

    I know as teenagers they often do not see past themselves but if you have fun with them and just let them know they are loved by you they often come back. I m lucky but I make things fun spending little.I try different things see what works and I adapt go outside my comfort zone for them and have fun.what is fun for one grandchild my not be for another. We go too places that like Shorncliff and Sandgate some like too climb the tress one likes to take photos one likes the parks so it covers lots. Some like to wade or swim. We play I showed Chinese checkers these holidays. One likes poker so am teaching. Uno but with double the cards. One likes to cook so she made a beautiful apple tea cake yum. Find what is fun ! Be a child yourself with them remember how you change.

  5. dont blame the kids its their parents they have no value on the time you wish to spend with them .i have 14 grandchildren a couple of the older ones come now and then usually around birthdays .or when they need somthing i dont complain or i would never see them the younger ones .are sadley controlled by their parents .it seems love is a forgotten word .replaced by busy parents .gyms keeping up with the freinds

  6. Although it is sad it is today’s normal. My grandson used to be a surprisingly adept conversationalist when he was in primary school. He’d talk the leg off an iron pot. High school and a mobile phone changed that. He is polite and caring – but his mind is yearning to see what his phone is saying. My children didn’t want to visit their Grandparents with us once they had driving licenses. They fly the nest and don’t even appreciate the nest they had until they see more of life and realize how lucky they were as youngsters.

    • Lola Christine  

      Yes, I agree. Its a fine line where grandkids want to spend time with grandparents. I have 5 between the ages of 7 and 14 and they still like to visit, but I know it is only a matter of time with the older ones and they will want to do their own thing. I too have a limited budget but we go to the park where they can kick a footy around, then buy some chips for lunch. This time I have suggested we do tie dying T-shirts. That will be lots of fun. So I cherish the time now that they do want to spend with me

  7. My hubby and I are lucky grandparents, we have 4 daughters and 8 grandchildren 4 of each, We were both working when first 7 came along, but fitted our jobs in to help with the little ones. They were glorious, and we were young, in our forties to fifties. Then number 8 came along 9 years ago, a big surprise for all, and were in our sixties, but my husband had retired, and I had illnesses and operations to deal with, whilst helping out with this little one. She is a marvellous child, we gave her every school hols, and she is a gem, always wanting to learn. We go to movies, our tic cheaper than hers, but she never asks for things, we take her on picnics and she has just learnt to crochet. iPads, phones etc are not on her list of priorities, talking to us and playing with my numerous bears and our cat, more important. We are lucky indeed, soo. Though I’m sure the electronic world will envelope her, but until then
    I love having her being a kid

  8. Irene  

    Love my grandchildren just more than words can explain but they are all growing up and having their own families – working overseas or interstate and I am sure it’s not that they don’t care as mine do show they do – the world we live in has changed from our day but I do remember my children in their teens not wanting to visit their grandparents because they said it was boring so just enjoy the time you do see them and maybe give them a phone call or a face time if you can.

  9. Gwenda  

    I’M sorry but I have a different slant on this.
    We raise our children hopefully to have good manners . BUT to me it doesn’t matter if you see your children or your grandchildren there is always a telephone either in there house or a mobile and it takes 5 mins to ring and say how you going. They don’t have to talk for long just to let you know that they are thinking of you and seeing you are OK. I realise when the grandchildren are young its up to the parents to say ring nan or pa say hello but if the parent couldn’t be bothered why should the kids. I have got to the stage where I say who cares. They don’t want to talk so be it. It doesn’t matter if you have done something wrong or everything right. If they don’t want to talk what can you do. I have been in this situation and I have gone out of my way to ring them visit them done the lot, but I don’t get any response. SO that’s the way it is. Live your life and don’t worry about them. They will need you before you need them.

    • Susan  

      I agree in part Gwenda. My grandchildren 14 and 12 appear very self centred. They are only interested in what interests them.They dont take anyone else into consideration unless it will be to their advantage . This may appear very harsh however its sadly true. I blame the culture of our modern way of life. ” its all about me”.

  10. Helen Schulz  

    I find kids that are taken camping, where there is no internet connection, are more grounded, but them maybe that is because the parents who take them camping are more grounded.

  11. Kate Lawley  

    Just sent 8 very happy, exhausted grandchildren home after a 5 day stay with Nana and Poppy. Yes, it’s hard work, and they do miss their technology, but their parents love that they get to do so many outdoor things with us, and they have to use their imaginations. All are aged between 10yrs and 3yrs, so we have to referee occasionally, but every visit we make more and more memories for them, and I find it amazing how well they all get along together. Every holiday we see the changes in each of them, and we are very disciplined with them all, so meal times now are easier ( no we don’t have choices for food, everyone gets to eat the same), if you can’t eat your main there is no dessert. In the beginning our “Rules” weren’t always popular but now it seems they almost look forward to them and they take great pleasure in reminding the younger ones of them. I am now going on a well earned Cruise to recover LOL

  12. Faye Dapiran  

    I have 5 grandchildren aged between 3 and 12. I love them all so much, and at this stage it would appear they love me. But I have wondered how it will be as they get older. I have even discussed it with 2 of them, the older 2, both boys. They have said, as if they wouldn’t not want to see me, but we shall see. I think th;ey have fun with me, but I disagree with many on here, you shouldn’t have to run around trying to amuse them all time. I take them out, and we go to cafe’s for lunch, they choose where they want to go, but we also stay home sometimes. They are all keen on electronic things, even the 3 year old twins, but I think it is the way they are being bought up and the way I bought my children up. That is, to respect others, listen and learn, to be interested in other people and other things, to share sense of humour, etc with them. And of course, it doesn’t have to cost a lot of money, which many grandparents just don’t have. I have a close friend who has 4 grandchildren, all teenagers, and they all still see her, contact her and want to visit and stay with her. It really can depend on theirs and their parents upbringing.

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