If not now, when… 

The things we’ve been putting off forever might never happen unless we say to ourselves “if not now when” and as the new year approaches I want to ask you what you want to do “now” to tick something off your list.  

As I write this I am headed to tick off one of my bucket list items… I swore two years ago that I would afford myself a family holiday for my 40th birthday and next week is the big day, so off we go to one of my favourite little villages in the middle of nowhere, together with three generations of my family to sit around, do nothing and be grateful.     (Yes for those of you who don’t know I am not 60 – sorry to disappoint but please don’t hold that against me – I dedicate much of my life to serving over 60s). 

I really believe in “If not now, when” as my strategy for getting the most out of life.  I think my poor husband might regret marrying this approach, but it makes for a lot of fulfilment, even if it comes with a whole lot of asking when he will finish that task… 

In contrast, I sat with an extended family member chatting the other night.  At 68, he lost his beloved wife to cancer two years ago and has been heartbroken ever since.  He won’t plan a trip, has struggled to find new hobbies and in conversation is constantly referencing her not being here as his reason for not planning anything.  He used to be a massive over-achiever, and shared all his achievements with her.  Now he finds few reasons to grasp his old attitude and that made me sad.  I think it makes him sad too.    

Having spent so much time with people who have lost their nearest and dearest here at Starts at 60 I wanted to hug him and shake him all at once… but I didn’t.  I just listened, reflected and discussed why he felt he couldn’t plan a trip or find something new to enjoy.  Most of us here know that grief travels in stages, and all I could do is hope that he finds another more resolute stage in the coming year and finds ways to enjoy the life he has ahead.  

I know I live my life through an incredible active spectre which most people do not.  “If not now, when?” is my stance, and this year I want to get everyone talking about setting ourselves three “If not now, when” targets… 

I’m going to take the lead… “If not now, when” is what I want to hear from you… 

I’m going to lose the last 10ish kilos I should have lost years ago, (and maybe the extra 5 that the last year added through my sedentary life of sitting at the end of the computer).  And in doing this, I am going to get fit and healthy again.  

I am going to take three holidays with my family… I promise, and if I can’t afford to go somewhere nice I’ll make it simple and go camping!  The most important thing is that I make the time…. Now to decide when and where  (how exciting).  

I’m going to read more books… The last two years have had me soaking in the Internet, leaving little time for reading.  I can feel that my attention span has waned.  But when I take the time to read I absolutely love it.  So this year I promise that I will read at least one book per month that will stretch my mind.  

Tell us today what your three “If not now, when” items will be for 2016…