Workplace Musings

1 – I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by. 2 –

1 – I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

2 – Tell me what you need, and I’ll tell you how to get along without it.

3 – Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.

4 – Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn’t there the first time, chances are you won’t be needing him again.

5 – I don’t have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.

6 – On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

7 – I don’t suffer from stress, but I am a carrier.

8 – Don’t be irreplaceable – if you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.

9 – After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.

10 – You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

11 – If at first you don’t succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a fool about it.

12 – Everything can be filed under “miscellaneous.”

13 – Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.

14 – Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn’t the work he/she is supposed to be doing.

15 – If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.

16 – People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn’t.

17 – At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.

18 – When you don’t know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

19 – When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, “How would the Lone Ranger handle this?”

20 – The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.


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