The voting struggle is real but humorous

On the eve of the Election, a lot of thought goes into the important issues that surround the campaign of power.  Which party has your best interest at heart?  Which party is going to look after your future and the future of this amazing country?  Although the issue that you should be pondering, and might even keep you up all night is “Which voting location has the best sausage sizzle or bake sale?”.

If you were one of the lucky ones that got to vote early, then I hope you are recovering nicely.  Many don’t realise the hazards that can envelop a voting place.  One of the biggest dangers of voting has to be the number of paper cuts you receive when a party volunteers shove twenty pieces of paper at you to desperately try to gain your vote.  Why do they do that anyway?  It’s not like you have the time to read a two sided policy plan in the time it takes you to get from the door to the desk to get your name checked.  It’s starting to resemble less of a political tactic and more of the desperate kid from your youth that is just begging to be picked for your team.

If you survive the paper cuts you will need to mind your brain next as the voting volunteers, ask you over and over again if you have been read “the questions”.  They must not judge from your face of steely determination that you have, and you have every time you have voted since you turned 18.   It’s understandable that they don’t know your personal history so it’s fair to ask those questions.  They should just simplify the process to nodding at you and saying “you okay?” so that you can get on to the task at hand.  The ballot paper.

It is good to know that thanks to this election that Australia will have a new unit of measurement.  I believe the average home is Australia is two to three ballot papers long by three ballot papers wide.  They are large.  They are so large that you might need an ice bath to sooth the repetitive strain that you might get from filling in every preference box.

The reason for the length is the sheer number of parties now on the ballot.  Outside of the majors, you have fringe parties that have names that can be misleading.  You have health-themed parties that aren’t interested in health, environmental themed parties that don’t want solar power, and people-themed parties that don’t want so many people in the county. It can be confusing.

Still, you have done your civic duty for another election.

At the end of the day no matter the election outcome there will be something that the winning parties will eventually do that will leave a bad taste in your mouth.  It still won’t be as bad as that burnt sausage, but it’ll still taste bad.

At least you’ll have another chance in three years.

What are your favourite and least favourite parts of voting?  What do you wish they would stop doing at voting locations?