Teachers must hear the funniest things

Kids are funny little things, most of the time you never know what is going to come out of their

Kids are funny little things, most of the time you never know what is going to come out of their mouth. This joke, sent in by one of our community members, highlights just that. I often wonder how many hilarious things teachers hear in a day, enough to write a book of jokes I’m sure.

A little boy goes to school and tells his teacher he found a dead cat.

The teacher asked him how he knew it was dead.

The little boy says cause I pissed in his ear.

The teacher was shocked and said “you did what!”

The little boy says “yeah I bent over him and went pssst in his ear and he didn’t move.


Were you a teacher? Have you heard some funny things from students or grandkids before?

Thanks to Lynne for sharing this joke with us.

Do you have a funny joke, email or story to share? Submit them here.

  1. Susan Bell  

    My mother was a kindergartener, one day a little boy said that his dad had gone back to gaol so his uncle had come to live with his mum. A nice bit of local scandal.

  2. Trevor  

    i was a NZ primary school teacher marking children’s written expresssion one afternoon after school. One little boy’s story had a sentence that said,’ …and the snake raped itself round the leg of the table’ I underlined ‘raped’ with red pen and wrote ‘wrapped’ in the margin. But I really wanted to write, ‘Only a snake would be able to do that!’

  3. I taught in a Catholic School and we had just finished a sex health education unit with our older students, Years 7 and 8. The culminating activity was to invite parents to an evening in the school hall. It was well attended. Two doctors, a male and female doctor had been invited to attend. As the evening progressed it came to question time. The girls went off to a separate place with the female doctor and the boys with their dads went off with the male doctor. A number of good questions were asked by the boys. Feeling uninhibited created by the trustful atmosphere, one of the boys asked, “Doctor, why do boys keep having resurrections?” There was a long silence and the a lot of shuffling and suppressed, strangled laughter to the point of choking by the dads and I must admit, myself. I thought, “Well, that brought out the very special character of the school.

  4. Jill  

    I had a Prep class long ago and I will never forget one “morning talk”! A serious little boy told us in a monotone voice how he had woken up the night before when he heard noises in the night so he went to investigate and saw his dad on top of his mum. The rest of the students had lost interest by now and he droned on explaining he was a little worried but then he saw his mum was smiling so he went back to bed! The rest of the class were now almost asleep but I had trouble keeping a straight face especially to his mum when she colleced him later that day!

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