Poet’s Corner: Neighbours

Penny Westgarth has submitted this humorous poem. We hope you like it as much as we do. 

My neighbours are a funny bunch

They aren’t the sort you’d ask to lunch

I asked them once and they replied

“We ‘ll only eat what is deep fried”.

On one side there’s Steptoe and Son

Whose garden is second-to-none

Fronted by an odd kind of fence

That hides a jungle kind of dense

It’s made from old discarded doors,

Propped up with bits of timber floors

Steptoe is somewhat of a nutter

Riding cart with flag-aflutter

His son speaks with such dulcet tone

Mostly ocker, which makes me moan

The other side are Flo and Ben

Reminding me of flower-pot men

They speak another kind of lingo

And often take themselves to bingo

Their dress is smart, of that they’re cert

With trackkies and Ford fanatic’s shirt

Across the road are Lil’ ‘n Abner

Who’d two small kids before e’d marry ‘er

Up to her navel are skinny Lil’s shorts

While Abner wears clothes that follow sports

Behind me there’s a couple dark

With dingo dog and it does bark!

She’s as wide as he is narrow

With voice that can be heard in Batlow

Their kids don’t go to bed ‘til dawn

While Mum and Dad sit and watch porn

It’s good to live out in the sticks

With neighbours who’re as thick as bricks

Have you had some interesting neighbours like Penny? 

image: beautifulcataya