Money’s no object, but…

A doctor tells a rich older man that he’s going to die if he doesn’t get a new heart soon. The man tells the doctor to search the world for the best heart available, money’s no object.

A few days later the doctor calls the man and says he has found three hearts, but they are all expensive. The man reminds the doctor that he is filthy rich and implores him to tell him about the donors they came from.

“Well, the first one belonged to 22-year-old marathon runner, never smoked, ate only the most healthy foods, was in peak condition when he was hit by a bus. No damage to the heart, of course. But it costs $100,000!”

The man, waving off the last part about the cost, asks the doctor to tell him about the second donor.

“This one belonged to a 16-year-old long-distance swimmer, high school kid. Lean and mean. Drowned when he hit his head on the side of the pool. That heart will set you back $150,000!”

“Okay,” said the old man. “What about the third heart?”

“Well this one belonged to a 58-year-old man, smoked three packs of cigarettes a day, weighed over 135kg, never exercised, drank like a fish… This heart is going for $500,000!”

“Five-hundred grand?!?!” the old man exclaimed. “Why so expensive?”

“Well,” said the doctor. “This heart belonged to a lawyer… so it was never used!”

If you want to read some other great jokes, click here. Or to submit one of your own to share with the Starts at 60 community, click here.

Stories that matter
Emails delivered daily
Sign up