A 75-year-old woman went to the doctor for a check-up.
The doctor told her she needed more activity and recommended sex three times a week. She said to the doctor: “Please, tell my husband.”
The doctor goes out in the waiting room and tells the husband that his wife needs to have sex three times a week.
The 80-year-old husband replies, “Which days?”
The doctor says, “How about Monday, Wednesday and Friday.”
The husband says, “I can bring her Monday and Wednesday, but on Fridays she’ll have to take the bus.”
My mother and father had just retired and were discussing plans for their future…
“What will you do if I die before you do?” Dad asked Mum.
After some thought, she said that she’d probably look for a house sharing situation with three other single or widowed women who might be a little younger than herself, since she is so active for her age.
Then Mum asked Dad, “What will you do if I die first?”
He replied, “Probably the same thing”.
It was Saturday morning. I slipped quietly out of bed and dressed. Headed downstairs, prepared a sandwich and a thermos of coffee for lunch. Went through to the garage where I already had the boat hooked up to the four-wheel drive. Opened the roller door and drove out into the foulest weather I’d ever seen. It was bucketing down and the wind was blowing a gale. Turning on the ABC, the boating program was issuing warnings about a slow moving storm front.
Oh damn. I love my fishing but enough’s enough. I backed the rig inside, closed the door and headed upstairs. I undressed quietly and got into bed, then cuddled up to my wife’s back, now intent on a different activity. Gently licking the back of her ear, I whispered, “The weather out there is atrocious”.
My darling wife of 10 years moaned. She replied, “Yes, and my stupid husband is out there fishing in it!”
That’s when the fight started!