A woman was in court to finalise her divorce. Her husband was a salesman that was on the road for most of the 25 years they were married. It was only after a car accident that she asked for a divorce. The judge discussion the case with the woman said: “So it was only after he woke from his surgery that you decided to leave him, is that right?”
“Yes, sir,” she said.
“Can you tell me the first thing he said to you when he woke up?” the Judge asked.
“Yes, he asked ‘What happened, Carol?’” she said.
“And this upset you?” asked the judge.
“Yes,” she said. “My name is Sarah.”
Derek was the medical examiner for a high profile case. During the trial he noticed that the prosecutor wasn’t really paying as much attention as he thought he should be and was asking questions like: “The child of the deceased, the 24-year-old, how old is he?” and asking the defendant: “Your first marriage was terminated by death, whose death terminated the marriage?”
Derek had a short fuse but was trying to keep it under control as he was being questioned.
“Doctor,“ the prosecutor started. “How many autopsies have you performed on dead people?”
Derek sighed, “All of the autopsies are performed on dead people.”
The prosecutor continued, “Do you recall when you examined this particular body a Mr Kenneth?”
“The autopsy on Mr Kenneth started at 8:30pm on the 15th of August 2016,” Derek said.
“And Mr Kenneth was dead at the time of the autopsy?” the prosecutor asked straight-faced.
Derek couldn’t stop himself from blurting out: “No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.”
The judge stunned the court by bursting out laughing.