Kick start your morning with these 14 short jokes. This close to Easter we can certainly relate to number 6!
- I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.
- Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.
- You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.
- I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes 25 years in a row.
- I decided to change calling the bathroom the John and renamed it the Jim. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.
- Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet.
- Old age is coming at a really bad time.
- When I was a child I thought “Nap Time” was a punishment. Now, as an old fart, it feels like a small vacation.
- The biggest lie I keep telling myself is,”I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.”
- I don’t have grey hair; I have “wisdom highlights.” I’m just very wise.
- If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would’ve put them on my knees.
- Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just gonna transfer me to someone I can’t understand anyway?
- Of course I talk to myself; sometimes I need expert advice.
- At my age “Getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what I went in there for.
Which one can you relate to?
*Have a joke or funny story to share? Submit them here.
*Thanks to Russell for sharing these jokes!