As a woman, when you become a mother you think of your children first. They are your priority, even before your husband or partner. This can also be true for men with their wives.
You spend a lot of time taking care of them, teaching them all what you know, doing your best to raise them up in a correct way.
When children are young their needs are mainly around comfort: to be well fed, cleaned, pampered and cherished. After a while, as teenagers, they are completely against everything you suggest, or try to impose. They often think everything is rubbish and useless.
As a good mother you provide everything they need, work hard to earn enough money to allow them to be safe, to allow them to dress like their idol and to let them have their own hobbies. Year after year, it becomes an automatic reflex. You go on without thinking about it. It’s inside you. It is you.
One day they finally end their studies, find their first job and decide to leave home, to leave the nest.
When you have children you are happy with that. You have succeeded. You go on working hard, until your youngest kid leaves home. When this day comes, you are proud and say, “What a great adventure ending after so many years! I can do what I want again. I can think about me at first!”. Your ‘freedom’ is back!
Nevertheless, this excitement fades rapidly. You finally become aware that your kids are autonomous and independent adults now. They almost no longer need you. Actually, you might even like to fill in this empty space in your life.
For parents, their relationship moves on. You have to (re)learn how to function together without your children. In some cases it can be a challenge. Yet, what if this “empty nest” syndrome was finally a chance to commit to your life? What could you choose for you?
Don’t listen to points of view like “you have to”, “you are able to”, “it should be better if you”. Choose what works for you. You may think some will think of you as a selfish parent. It’s not about being selfish. It’s about being in good shape and then being able to do what you desire. Is now the time to listen to yourself first? When you are healthy you can help others in a better way, if it is your choice.
Here are seven tips to help you find what your purpose is in life, besides your children.
What about improving your career and getting a promotion or more responsibilities? You have more time and you can choose to spend it at your office or in your work environment.
If you were a full-time mother you could ask questions to see what you’d like to do. What about creating a business using all your talents? What is the activity you like to do all day long? What if you could do that and get paid for it?
Hobbies are another way to spend your time. There are many possibilities nearby in your city to meet new people or engage in new activities.
You can also join an association or group. There are many ways to help people around you by giving a part of your time.
What about sharing and trading your skills with other people? Just for fun or for money it doesn’t matter. You’d be surprised to discover what you know!
Another idea could be to go back to school and learn what you always wished to learn but didn’t have time to.
Don’t forget to save time for you. Read a book, go for a walk or just stand looking around if you like. The idea is to get more peace and space in you. Some alternative solutions could also help you like yoga, meditation or sophrology. Why not look at different possibilities and see what works for you? Expos and fairs are good places to taste and choose your next activity.
What is important is to begin to think different and to finally choose yourself first. It’s not so easy at the beginning because you have lost this habit for years. So be kind with yourself, take the required time to go and (re)discover yourself and what makes you vibrate. Enjoy life again from a different point of view.