Does everyone get a sign before their loved ones leave or it just the lucky ones?

Last week my husband and I went to visit my aunt who lives in a nursing home. She is suffering

Last week my husband and I went to visit my aunt who lives in a nursing home. She is suffering from severe dementia – so severe she can no longer talk, walk around or do anything of independence. She relies on the staff to wash, feed and dress her, move her when she needs to be moved and look after her. As a family we visit regularly, my mother (her sister) is nearly there every day brightening up her room with flowers, talking to her and keeping her updated on all of the news.

Bess is 93 now and we love her so dearly, but it is heartbreaking to watch a woman, single all her life, lose her independence and vibrancy. While my husband and I were there he shared a moment with her. It both amazes and scares me, and it has had me thinking.

Poor Bess, who can no longer pronounce words properly, let alone string a sentence together, looked my husband in the eye while he held her hand and said quite clearly, “I’ve had a good life. I’m ready to fly away”.

He was shocked. He couldn’t believe what he had just heard, so much so that he actually asked her if that is what she had said. She nodded and gazed at him with her kind eyes. Just writing about it gives me goosebumps and it has me wondering, do the lucky people get a warning when their loved ones are going to pass away?

Is this her way of saying she is ready and preparing us for what is to come? When she is so frail and so trapped in her small body I wonder if we are to accept these words as a sign that her days are numbered and that is something she is trying to help us come to terms with – or is that being overly superstitious and finding meaning in something that matters very little?

I’m not normally someone that looks for signs. I don’t believe in deeper meanings and to be frank I don’t even know quite how I feel about death. But I can’t help but feel this is her trying to help us understand and be at peace with what may come.

I have heard of other stories where people have given warning in their own way before they passed away. A dear friend’s Aunt was also in a nursing home and after a nasty fall she held Tori’s hand and said, “I don’t think I’ll be here sweetie, but I’m happy about that”. The next morning Tori woke to the news that her Aunt has passed away peacefully in her sleep.

So my big question today is, do the lucky ones get signs? Do our loved ones give us a warning when they are ready to let go? Has anything like this happened to you? Or should I stop dwelling on it? Please share your thoughts with me in the comments below… 

Originally published here

  1. ..maybe not the lucky ones – just some people do… I knew when my mother was dying… had been warned 4 months before…
    I lived in another country – and my dad who had passed away many years earlier gave me a sign that if we didn’t travel to see her immediately we wouldn’t be able to see her – we would not have had a chance to go before Christmas…So my husband and I knew that she wouldn’t be there at Christmas… We went to see her and she met her only 2 grandchildren… When the time came (in October) she was alone in the house(she lived in my sister’s house) and I had called to congratulate my sister since it was her birthday – I got to talk with my mum and she was ill – and I could say properly good bye to her… I knew immediately it was the last time we talked…..She didn’t know she was going but she was dead when my sister came back 1/2 hour later….

  2. The energy in my mother- in- laws room had changed to a sense of peace and I knew instantly she had let go of the suffering- she died later that night.

  3. I knew my mother had gone becasue I felt as it a silky covering had gone over me, my mother’s protection that stays with me forever..

  4. Absolutely it’s a sign. However I have been present when a few of my loved ones have died and I think what she was looking for was your permission to go. Both of my parents were hanging on when I knew their quality of life had gone and so I told them “I think it’s time to go now, I won’t be sad, dad is waiting for you and he is calling you. It’s OK”. Within a few minutes my mum left us. Once she knew it was OK she relaxed, smiled and drifted away.

  5. My father in law rang me, he said what you doing, I said writing out Christmas cards and he said don’t bother doing one for me I won’t be here, he wasn’t ill but he died before Christmas

  6. I totally agree. When my father was dying we took it in turns to be with him overnight. My sister and niece were with him, Mum and I were getting some well earned rest when I felt something leave me. Then the phone rung from my sister to say that Dad had passed. Still get goosebumps thinking about it 22 years later.

    • Often the person will stay unable to leave loved ones – as soon as they are left they slip away, that”s why hospitals will try to send family home to give the patient a chance to pass.

      • Heather A  

        That happened to me. I spent a sleepless night next to my mother’s hospital bed, then dashed home to get changed. While at home a call came from the hospital to say she had died. I’m happy that she woke during the night and smiled when she saw me.

  7. I totally believe this lady is giving a sign. My mother was similar with that description. To be near her I volunteered every day apart from weekends at the nursing home. She hadnt spoken in years. On the friday I was leaving to go home and I sat on her bed cuddling her..explained I would see. Her monday..for some reason I said to her “you.know.much I love you dont you” she looked at me so I repeated it. .as I stood up to go site looked at me and said “I love you too”. She passed to Heaven days later without another word. I carry that in my heart always

  8. I felt that Dad was having a hard time leaving us, He was holding on tight to our hands, Mum said to him” remember darling how you Loved to watch the Eagles soar, why don’t you fly off and join them” he let out a breath and died. I was with Mum and a few others while they were leaving but didn’t have that experience again, it was a good to witness.

  9. My Mums wish was to pass at home surrounded by her family…after months of in & out of hospital & having her 84 birthday in hospital she was discharged home ..”her wish to be granted” . Yes it was hard but after almost a month she ask that her son be sent for & he arrived with his wife….we were all here that was wednesday & at the doctor visit she called us all together & said right tell them doctor what I have just asked…she was “allowed ” nothing but her meds ..if thats what she wanted no badgering to eat & drink or anything that she didnt want……Friday came & I was called to house at 11am…the nurse came & all us ladies washed & dressed my mum in a new nightdress bought for her birthday…family was told she was fading…family came & said their goodbyes & she passed peacefully at 4:50 surrounded by her children & loved ones!!! I still am struuggling with the power that woman had !! he was ready & my dad was waiting!!! she had the strength of a wonderfu; human being to actually plan her “passing” to the best she could!! but best of akll She got her wish!!! to do it HER way in conjunction with the powers that be…YES I believe in signs & the readiness to go & once you have resolved that ………..

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *