An article caught our eye the other day in which a woman complained her children were a “blight” on her marriage.
Listening to this woman’s list of complaints about how her life revolves around her children, and that they are ruining her marriage makes us want to reach down the internet and shake her!
If only she knew how fast life goes and how quickly they grow up and are gone. Are modern parents really so spoiled that they can’t enjoy their children any more?
Kate Morris, a writer from London, describes a typical day in life, which starts with her 11-year-old waking her up in the night, involves lots of shouting to get everyone out the door in time, and ends on the couch, cuddled up to her 14-year-old son while watching TV. How blessed she is!
But no, the writer says, “I can’t remember the last time I snuggled up to my husband, hid my face in his chest during a scary film, or even held his hand. The problem is our children are our constant companions.”
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Ms Morris explains that she and her husband didn’t have great childhoods and are determined be around for their kids. But…
“When we were children, there were much stricter boundaries. Children did not stay up with the adults, or socialise with them, or sleep in their parents’ beds. We, on the other hand, seem to have no boundaries at all. Our children spill over into all aspects of our lives.”
The mother of two laments the lack of support from the children’s grandparents, who live far away, and the dullness of her present life compared to her past as a foreign correspondent, the fact that all their hard-earned money goes to the children’s piano lessons and other activities, that any spare time is filled with helping with homework and ferrying children to sports.
“Weekends can be soul-destroying,” writes Ms Morris. “They are all about the children, and as they have grown older their demands have not abated.”
What really gets our goat, though, is when Ms Morris describes the early years of parenthood, in which her husband was supportive and pitched in to help with nappy changing and bottle feeds.
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“Our early evenings were spent simultaneously bathing one child and reading to the other. My husband spent interminable nights rocking babies to sleep. When we had two children, we spent entire weekends working around their timetables of naps and feeding times.”
Ha! How many men of our generation are only too willing to boast about the ONE nappy they changed in 1974?
The article, for which the author’s two beautiful children were photographed, is largely about the lack of time, energy and space left over in the parents’ relationship, but – judging by most of the comments, the real issue here is that Ms Morris resents her children. And that’s just not fair.
We’ve all had moments where we wished for more time and less responsibility. But to practically wish your kids away is simply too much.
Ms Morris writes, “There are times when I feel like running away and leaving everybody, or just fast-forwarding a few years until they are independent or have left home. But the minute I picture Luke and I sitting alone together, I feel sad and bereft. What will we do with that spare time?”
Tell us: Did you ever feel the same way as this mother? Does your daughter? What would you say to this mother, given the chance?