Are these the best Christmas cracker jokes ever? Feel free to add your own!
1. What do you call a line of men waiting for a haircut?
2. Why was the turkey in the pop group?
Because he was the only one with drumsticks!
3. What do you call a boomerang that does not come back?
4. Why was the snowman looking through the carrots?
He was picking his nose
5. What did Adam say the day before Christmas?
“It’s Christmas Eve”
6. What did Snow White say when her photos didn’t arrive on time?
One day my prints will come
7. When do vampires like racing?
When it’s neck and neck
8. What do you give a dog for Christmas?
A mobile bone
9. Why did the pony have to gargle?
Because it was a little horse
10. Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas party?
He had no body to go with
11. Why did no-one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay?
Because they were two deer
12. What happened to the man who stole an advent calendar?
He got 25 days
13. Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy
14. What is the best Christmas present?
A broken drum, you can’t beat it!
15. What do you call a woman who stands between two goal posts?
16. What has four legs but can’t walk?
17. What do you call a blind reindeer?
No eye deer
20. What’s round and bad tempered?
A vicious circle
21. What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
22. What did the sea Say to Santa?
Nothing! It just waved!
23. What do you call a three legged donkey?
A wonky donkey!
24. Children: This turkey tastes like an old sofa!
Mom: Well, you asked for something with plenty of stuffing!
25. Who is Santa’s favourite singer?