Stop resisting and embrace all that is 9



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“There are ultimately two choices in life: to fight it or to embrace it. If you fight it you will lose – if you embrace it you become one with it and you’ll be lived.” – Rasheed Ogunlaru

“All suffering comes from a person’s inability to sit still and be alone,” affirms the Jesuit priest and psychotherapist, Anthony de Mello in his book One Minute Wisdom.

There is great truth that being alone in silence is a worthwhile antidote to overcome the weight of human suffering. We languish in sorrow because outside events unsettle our sense of stability, hence to change external conditions ameliorates the pain.

When intense or negative emotions arise, there is a heightened tendency to escape them. This could be attributed to the opinion that negative emotions should be tossed aside and not confronted.

The nature of reality is filled with pain and suffering. Interspersed are moments of joy and happiness to the degree that no untoward condition is permanent. It is how we respond to the difficult times that points the way to our personal growth.

In her book When Things Fall Apart, spiritual teacher Pema Chodron affirms, “Life is a good teacher and a good friend. Things are always in transition, if we could only realize it.”

We accept life’s unfolding events by allowing experiences to move through us with unreserved patience. The moment you resist pain, it pushes against you with an overpowering force until you concede.

Your darkest hour, however frightening can never extinguish the illuminating radiance of your being. Consider it to dimming the lights inside your home to impose darkness while it’s still daylight outside. Even through concealed curtains, the light still penetrates the dark.

Striving, longing and expecting are ways the mind places barriers around our happiness. We never know what life will bring, so we let go of fixed outcomes and trust conditions will advance of their own accord.

I appreciate Michael Singer’s view in his acclaimed book The Untethered Soul, “The only permanent solution to your problems is to go inside and let go of the part of you that seems to have so many problems with reality.”

The minute you resist life, you are called to surrender to the unfolding conditions. In the moment you concede to universal intelligence, you merge with the natural order of events.

When pain emerges, drop into it instead of resisting it.


Because your resistance signifies your opposition to life. It is your resistance to what is that is the source of suffering, not the pain itself.

Trust in your capacity to overcome whatever arises. Trust in life and the unseen forces that conspire to help you in the unfolding of your personal story.

“Life is simple. Everything happens for you, not to you. Everything happens at exactly the right moment, neither too soon nor too late. You don’t have to like it… it’s just easier if you do.” – Byron Katie

Celebrate life, knowing the sequence of events change. What seems unwelcomed at first may become your greatest teacher. Expect the foundations to be laid before assuming the worst.

“The point is to lean toward the discomfort of life and see it clearly rather than to protect ourselves from it,” states Pema Chodron.

Your life’s journey is composed of layers, concealed by the weight of past conditioning. By allowing life to unfold through us, we consent to uncover those layers. Similarly, as you encounter an experience and overcome it, another layer is revealed.

Charlene Belitz and Meg Lundstrom remind us in their book The Power of Flow, “If you get real comfortable, it’s less likely you’ll make a lot of progress. If you’re always seeking pleasure, you’re not necessarily in Truth.”

Unpleasant feelings are not to be avoided, yet embraced. This does not mean celebrate pain, though accept circumstances as they arise, knowing there’s a vital lesson contained within it.

The moment we declare our intention to move through pain, we activate the wisdom to overcome undesirable events. When we shy away from an experience, we resist the moment.

As you know, that which you resist intensifies until you are called to face the truth, amidst untenable circumstances.

At the least, to embrace life is a commitment that what transpires will do so of its own accord. We have two choices: resist what emerges or accept it with trusted humility.

What appears threatening at first is identical to thunder on a sultry night: loud and confronting, yet leads the way for the looming rain.

There is a reassuring quality in the wake of every experience. Even in the ravages of a natural disaster, the human spirit cannot be overshadowed. To rebuild one’s life, with stronger foundations is testament to our grounding legacy to survive any untoward condition.

Psychotherapist and teacher David Richo affirms in The Five Things We Cannot Change, “We worry because we do not trust ourselves to handle what happens to us. We worry because we do not trust that the way the chips fall will work out for the best.”

Yet everything works out for the best if we get out of our way and embrace all that is. Life is a self-organising system, functioning irrespective of our resistance to it.

This same force responsible for creating the cosmos has a good handle on the organisation of the universe, given its 14 billion year history.

It was the transformational author and critical thinker Werner Erhard who taught, “Life will resolve itself in the process of Life Itself.” There is little for us to do other than stay attentive to the outcome.

To embrace all that is, we must expand our notion of suffering to correspond with the natural order of events.

By spending quiet time in reflection every so often, we quiet the mind to allow the voice of reason to emerge, through the stillness of life.


Share with us below. How have you grown and changed over the years?


Tony Fahkry

If you enjoyed this article by Tony Fahkry, why not gain access to Tony's full body of knowledge by getting a copy of his new book 'The Power to Navigate Life.' The Power to Navigate Life is arguably the most complete and powerful teachings on the mastering of life. The Power to Navigate Life is your opportunity to experience a rewarding life from the very first page. Visit Founder of The Power to Navigate Life, Tony is a leading holistic, health and self-empowerment specialist. He brings over ten years’ experience at the highest level as a health professional, corporate and public speaker, author and coach.

  1. It has been one big learning experience. By the time you think you know it all, your too old to be taken any notice of. 🙂

  2. We have to learn to deal with a lot of life experiences, there are lots of bends & rocky roads in life, that we have to confront good & bad in our life time.

  3. I have become far more philosophical,and when I look back on my life I get a glimpse of a fantastic tapestry with all the lessons on the journey,good and “bad” woven together and somehow it’s worked out!That makes me so grateful and humble,and more Trusting of a bigger picture which I don’t have to control,so it’s lifted any anxiety and I just go along with the flow now. 🙂

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  4. It’s very hard to change your personality especially if we dwell too much!We should be able to let the unhappy days go and just move on they say!Sometimes that is easier said than done,but as we get older we realise whats done is done,can’t change it anyway!Writing down your feelings does help,then just rip it up!!

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