‘Dear mum’: Daughter’s beautiful words for mother with dementia

The daughter wrote phrases to try and put her mother at ease. Source: Getty

A concerned daughter’s message for her elderly mother who has dementia has sparked an important discussion on social media.

Anyone who has a loved one living with dementia will know that confusion and anxiety are two of the most common symptoms and it can often be difficult to reassure them everything is okay.

For one daughter, her mother’s constant anxious phone calls began to take a toll on both of them so she decided to leave some “words of reassurance” to help calm her throughout the day. The daughter wrote phrases on a whiteboard, left in the living room of her mother’s home to try and put her at ease.

“Your meals are paid for. You’re okay. Everyone’s fine,” the note read.

“You are not moving. No one else is moving.

“Keep drinking, it will help your memory. You don’t owe anyone any money. You haven’t upset anyone.”

The whiteboard note, which was shared on Reddit on Monday, has since gone viral.

“A simple white board left in her sight line in her sitting room helped to reduce constant anxious phone calls,” the post read.

A daughter's whiteboard note for her elderly mother with dementia has gone viral. Source: Reddit - u/Lowcrbnaman
A daughter’s whiteboard note for her elderly mother with dementia has gone viral. Source: Reddit – u/Lowcrbnaman

It seems many readers could relate to the moving post as more than 2,000 Reddit users commented on it, sparking an important discussion about supporting people with dementia.

One health worker commented that the reassurance demonstrated in the woman’s note is “hugely beneficial” to dementia patients.

“So many of my patients with dementia have anxiety about owing someone money or needing to pay for where they are. This reassurance is hugely beneficial,” they wrote.

Another added: “I used to work as a nurse in a nursing home. I couldn’t count the times that an elderly resident would refuse to eat, and when questioned would admit they had no money to pay. It was a shock as new nurse to see it.”

Others also shared the ways they’ve helped care for loved ones living with the condition.

“One of the best things we did for my Grandma was buy her an amazon echo with a Spotify subscription,” one commentator wrote. “She can listen to her music whenever she wants, and ask it ‘what day is it’ as many times as she likes. She has a list of commands laminated next to it. It really improved her quality of life and helped her feel less lonely.”

If a family member or friend is living with the debilitating condition, Dementia Australia says there are many aids which can assist a person to remain independent, including easy-to-read clocks, large calendars, setting up reminder timers or personal alarms.

There are around 10 million new cases of dementia diagnosed each year, causing disability and impacting a person and their family physically, psychologically, socially and emotionally. Alzheimer’s disease is currently the most common form of dementia, impacting up to 70 per cent of all people with dementia. Other forms include vascular dementia, lewy body disease and frontotemporal dementia.

Do you know someone who has been impacted by dementia? Have you ever tried something like this for a loved one?

IMPORTANT LEGAL INFO This article is of a general nature and FYI only, because it doesn’t take into account your personal health requirements or existing medical conditions. That means it’s not personalised health advice and shouldn’t be relied upon as if it is. Before making a health-related decision, you should work out if the info is appropriate for your situation and get professional medical advice.

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