A British opinion writer has gone viral with a dangerously controversial option: Tea, Britain’s national drink, is rubbish. Social media has somehow dug up the three-year-old story, and set off a furious debate among tea drinkers all over again.
Joel Golby wrote in The Guardian in 2015, “Britain’s favourite beverage is a boring, beige relic of our colonial past. But if we admit that to ourselves, what else are we going to start doubting?”
In his hilariously outrageous article he claimed: “Tea is s**t. We don’t examine this enough in England. We just putter along, thinking tea is good; but it’s not good.
“’Nice cup of tea,’ people say, when you’ve watched a vivid car accident or been given a terminal diagnosis, or gone for a walk and it’s started raining. Whether the mafia has kidnapped you and made you kill a man with a gun to win your freedom or if you’ve done quite badly in an exam, someone will say: ‘Let me get you a nice cup of tea’.”
He went on to describe the comforting beverage as “a lukewarm mug of leaf water, presented as a cure-all for life’s ills”.
Golby added that people are so obsessed with the “tasteless” drink, they “are ready to duel to the death” when it comes to the milk-to-tea ration or how long a bag should be left in the mug.
“’No sugar!’ people shout, as you waddle off to make another interminable cup of tea for them. Another will chime in: ‘A hundred sugars!'”
Golby’s hilarious controversial post recently reappeared on Facebook and left Brits and tea fans all over the world battling it out.
“I totally agree with his argument, can’t stand the vile stuff,” one user wrote, while another added, “Yes! Can’t stand it! It’s a bland, insipid drink that has somehow become central to UK culture.”
Others jumped to the defence of the innocent hot drink and declared it the answer to all of life’s problems.
“Tea is awesome and is part of our national identity. Is nothing sacred.. Why do these people want to pull everything to the ground?” one Facebook user wrote. Another added: “OMG how can you say this! Tea is sacrosanct! Tea is the answer to all ills!”