Why I like retirement

Why I like retirement….

Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

 

Question: When is a retiree’s bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

 

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Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.

 

Question: What’s the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

 

Question: Why don’t retirees mind being called seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 10 per cent discount.

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Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.

 

Question: Why do retirees count pennies?

Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.

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Question: What is the common term for someone who continues to work and refuses to retire?
Answer: NUTS!

 

Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

 

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Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Normal

 

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never ending coffee break.

 

Question: What’s the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one can call your parents.

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Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn’t miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

 

Question: What do you do all week?
Answer: Monday to Friday, nothing; Saturday and Sunday I rest.

 

AND, If you have not yet retired, look what you have to look forward to.

Happiness is a voyage, not a destination and there is no better time to be happy than NOW.