A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Cornwall. He shot anddropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other sideof a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up onhis tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, “I shot a duck and it fell in this field,and now I’m going to retrieve it.” The old farmer replied, “This is my property, and you are not comingover here.” The indignant lawyer said, “I am one of the best trial attorneys inthe United States and, if you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sueyou and take everything you own.” The old farmer smiled and said, “Apparently, you don’t know how wesettle disputes in Cornwall. We settle small disagreements with the‘Three Kick Rule’.” The lawyer asked, “What is the ‘Three Kick Rule’?” The Farmer replied, “Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, Iget to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up.” The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decidedthat he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by thelocal custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up tothe lawyer. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot intothe lawyer’s groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer’s last meal gushingfrom his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer’s third kick to his rearend, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pat. The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to hisfeet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, “Okay, you oldfart. Now it’s my turn.”
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The old farmer smiled and said, “Nah, I give up. You can have theduck.”
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