Taking the law into your own hands

George Phillips, an elderly man from rural Victoria, was going up to bed when his wife told him that he’d left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window.

George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.

He phoned the police, who asked, “Is someone in your house?”

He said, “No, but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me”.

The police dispatcher said, “All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available”.

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George said, “Okay”.

He hung up the phone and counted to 30. Then he phoned the police again.

“Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don’t have to worry about them now because I just shot and killed them both; the dogs are eating them right now,” and he hung up.

Within minutes, six police cars, a SWAT team, a helicopter, two fire trucks, a paramedic and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips’ residence, and caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the policemen said to George, “I thought you said you’d shot them!”

George said, “I thought you said there was nobody available!”

Thank you to Fran for sending this one in. If you want to read some other great jokes, click here. Or to submit one of your own to share with the Starts at 60 community, click here.