One-liner over 60s jokes

Q: Where can single men over the age of 60 find younger women who are interested in them?

A: Try a bookstore, under Fiction.


Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?

A: Keep busy. If you’re handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you’re done, you will have a place to live.

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Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the bible… Is that true? Where can it be found?

A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: “And Mary rode Joseph’s ass all the way to Egypt…”


Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your over-60 year-old husband?

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A: Tell him you’re pregnant.


Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?

A: Take off your glasses.


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Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow’s feet and all those wrinkles on my face?

A: Go bra-less. It will usually pull them out..


Q: Why should 60 plus year old people use valet parking?

A: Valets don’t forget where they park your car.

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Q: Is it common for 60-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?

A: Storing memory is not a problem, Retrieving it is the problem.


Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?

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A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.


Q: Where should 60-plus year olds look for eye glasses?

A: On their foreheads.


Q: What is the most common remark made by 60-plus year olds when they enter antique stores?

A: “Gosh, I remember these!”