Neil was feeling guilty, so he went to church ...

Neil was feeling guilty, so he went to church for confession.

“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I stole some wood from a construction site.”

“What did you do with the lumber?” the priest asks.

“My son’s wheelchair ramp was broken, so I fixed it.”

“That sounds like a worthwhile cause.”

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“I had some wood left over.”

“What did you do with it?”

“My dog was struggling in the winter chill, so I built him a kennel to keep him warm.”

“That still sounds like a worthwhile cause.”

“Wait, Father. I had some wood left even after that.”

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“What did you do with it?”

“My car was out on the street, so I built a two-car garage to keep it safe.”

“That’s getting a little out of hand,” the priest says. “Was there still wood left after that?”

“Yes,” Neil says. “My wife always wanted a bigger house, so I built a second floor for our home.”

“You’ve gone too far,” the priest says. “You’re going to have to make a novena for penance. Do you know how to make a novena?”

“No,” Neil says. “But if you give me the plans I still have plenty of wood.”

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