Neil was feeling guilty, so he went to church for confession.
“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I stole some wood from a construction site.”
“What did you do with the lumber?” the priest asks.
“My son’s wheelchair ramp was broken, so I fixed it.”
“That sounds like a worthwhile cause.”
“I had some wood left over.”
“What did you do with it?”
“My dog was struggling in the winter chill, so I built him a kennel to keep him warm.”
“That still sounds like a worthwhile cause.”
“Wait, Father. I had some wood left even after that.”
“What did you do with it?”
“My car was out on the street, so I built a two-car garage to keep it safe.”
“That’s getting a little out of hand,” the priest says. “Was there still wood left after that?”
“Yes,” Neil says. “My wife always wanted a bigger house, so I built a second floor for our home.”
“You’ve gone too far,” the priest says. “You’re going to have to make a novena for penance. Do you know how to make a novena?”
“No,” Neil says. “But if you give me the plans I still have plenty of wood.”