Hilarious epitaphs

Here are some fascinating and hilarious things written on old tombstones:

 

Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York

Born 1903–Died 1942.

Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was.

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In a Thurmont, Maryland cemetery:

Here lies an Atheist, all dressed up and no place to go.

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On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in

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East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:

Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102.

Only the good die young.

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In a London, England cemetery:

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Here lies Ann Mann, who lived an old maid but died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767

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In a Ribbesford, England cemetery:

Anna Wallace

The children of Israel wanted bread,

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And the Lord sent them manna.

Clark Wallace wanted a wife,

And the Devil sent him Anna.

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In a Ruidoso, New Mexico cemetery:

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Here lies Johnny Yeast.

Pardon him for not rising.

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In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery:

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake,

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Stepped on the gas instead of the brake.

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In a Silver City, Nevada cemetery:

Here lays The Kid,

We planted him raw.

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He was quick on the trigger,

But slow on the draw.

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A lawyer’s epitaph in England:

Sir John Strange.

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Here lies an honest lawyer, and that is Strange.

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John Penny’s epitaph in the Wimborne, England cemetery:

Reader, if cash thou art in want of any,

Dig 6 feet deep and thou wilt find a Penny.

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In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:

On the 22nd of June, Jonathan Fiddle went out of tune.

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Anna Hopewell’s grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont :

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Here lies the body of our Anna,

Done to death by a banana.

It wasn’t the fruit that laid her low,

But the skin of the thing that made her go.

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On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket, Massachusetts:

Under the sod and under the trees,

Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.

He is not here, there’s only the pod,

Pease shelled out and went to God.

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In a cemetery in England:

Remember man, as you walk by,

As you are now, so once was I.

As I am now, so shall you be,

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Remember this and follow me.

To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:

To follow you I’ll not consent,

Until I know which way you went.

 

If you want to read some other great jokes, click here. Or to submit one of your own to share with the Starts at 60 community, click here.