Friday Funnies: 50 shades of grey (seniors version)

The Queen greets the Sultan of Brunei. Image: Getty

This is the hilarious take from a husband’s point of view… there’s false teeth and saggy boobs galore in this little rhyming masterpiece.


The missus bought a Paperback, down Shepton Mallet way,

I had a look inside her bag;…  T’was “fifty shades of grey”.

Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.

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An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread…

In her left she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.

Well fifty years or so ago;I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn’t weathered well;
She’s eighty four next week!!

Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!

She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said

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I am a dominater !!

Now if you knew our Mabel,
You’d see just why I spluttered,
I’d spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I’d uttered.

She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like and stood on her left tit!

Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done!?

She moaned and groaned then shouted out:

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“Step on the other one”!!

Well readers, I can’t tell no more;
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,

Turned fifty shades of grey.


photo: cienpies