Fanny Green and the confessional

An Irish man went to confession in St. Patrick’s Catholic Church.

‘Father’, he confessed, ‘it has been one month since my last confession. I had sex with Fanny Green twice last month’.

The priest told the sinner, ‘You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary’s then put $5 in the collection tray’.

Soon after, another Irish man entered the confessional. ‘Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I’ve had sex with Fanny Green twice a week for the past two months’.

This time, the priest questioned, ‘Who is this Fanny Green?’

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‘A new woman in the neighbourhood’, the sinner replied.

‘Very well,’ sighed the priest, ‘Go and say 10 Hail Mary’s then put $25 in the collection tray’.

At mass the next morning, as the priest prepared to deliver the sermon, a tall, voluptuous, drop-dead gorgeous red-headed woman entered the sanctuary. 

The eyes of every man in the church fell upon her as she slowly sashayed up the aisle and sat down right in front of the priest. 

Her dress was emerald-green, very short, and she wore matching, shiny emerald-green shoes.

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The priest and the altar boy gasped as the woman in the green dress and matching green shoes sat with her legs spread slightly apart, just enough for them to realise she wasn’t wearing any underwear.

The priest turned to the altar boy and whispered, ‘Is that Fanny Green?’

The bug-eyed altar boy couldn’t believe his ears but managed to calmly reply, ‘No Father, I sure it’s just the reflection from her shoes’.

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