Clean living

It was Christmas and everyone seemed to he having a great time, but Father O’Rourke was not.

He suddenly said to Father Kelly, “You know what. I’m fed up with all this good behaviour and clean living. Why don’t go out and have good old sinful night out. We could drink, go with loose women and do whatever takes our fancy.”

“Are you mad?” replied Father Kelly. “This is a small town. Everyone knows who we are.”

“I don’t mean we should do it here,” said his colleague. “We could dress like everyone else and take the train to the city.”

After much persuasion Father Kelly agreed to do so and off they went that night and partied until morning. They arrived home very much the worse for wear and it was then that the enormity of what they had done began to dawn on Father Kelly.

“Oh my God. We’re going to have to confess our misdemeanour.”

“Don’t worry,” replied Father O’Rourke. “I’ve already thought about this. You get changed and go into the confessional and I’ll tell you all about my misdeeds and you can absolve me. Then, I’ll do the same for you.”

A short while later Father O’Rourke went to the church and entered the confessional.

“Father, forgive me for I have sinned. I went out with a friend to celebrate Christmas last night and got drunk, had sexual relations with women, danced to wicked music and used foul language.”

Father Kelly replied, “God is patient and forgiving and so am I. Do five Our Fathers, five Hail Marys and your sins will be forgiven.”

A short while later their positions were reversed and Father Kelly confessed everything in great detail.

“This is an outrage,” exclaimed Father O’Rourke. “What kind of priest are you? Do 500 Our Fathers, 500 Hail Marys, donate all you income for the next three months to the church, go right round the church on your knees 50 times, asking God’s forgiveness as you do so. Then come back to me and maybe I’ll consider absolution.”

“What?” said the astonished Father Kelly. “What about our agreement?”

Father O’Rourke replied, “What I do with my time off is one thing, but I take my job very seriously.”

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