Bed soccer

Bill and Jane have been married for 61 years and love a good laugh. They did their evening routine and get into bed with out of nowhere Bill man passes gas and says, “1-Nil”.

Jane rolls over and says, “What in the world was that?”

Bill smiles and replies, “it’s bed soccer and I’m winning.”

A few minutes later, Jane lets one go and says, “Goal! One all!”

After about five minutes, Bill lets another one go and exclaims, “Aha, I’m ahead 2 to 1”

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Not to be outdone Jane rips out another one and says, “And she scores again! It’s a tie game.”

Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, “Top corner header! I lead 2 to 3.”

Bill is starting to feel the pressure, pun intended, but he refuses to let her win, so he strains real hard. Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he’s got, and with a loud, and disgusting sound, he has an accident in bed.

Jane sits straight up in bed, “What the hell was that?”

Already lifting the covers Bill says, “Half time, switch sides.”

Need another laugh?  Have a look at some of our other great jokes here.

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