An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman in a bar...

An octopus walks into a bar and sees a band playing in the corner, composed of those bar-room heroes, an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman. He walks up and says “Hi there, I’m the best musician in the world. For a few dollars I can play any instrument you like”.

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So the English guy goes “Alright then. Play this” and hands him a guitar. The octopus plays it better than Jimi Hendrix, better than Chuck Berry, better than anyone, and hands the guitar back to him. The Englishman pays up.

The Irishman says “Okay, how about this?” and shows him to the piano. The octopus sits down and plays it like never heard before – better than Jerry Lee Lewis and Elton John. The best pianist ever. The Irishman pays up.

Finally, the Scotsman says “Alright, let’s see ya play this then” and hands him a set of bagpipes. The octopus looks at them and fumbles with them. Couple more minutes and he’s still struggling and there’s no sound coming out. Couple more minutes and still nothing so the Scotsman says “Oh, so can you not play it then?” And the octopus says “Play it? I’m going to make love to it as soon as I can get these darn pajamas off.”

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