Alternative meanings for medical terms!

Here are some hilarious alternative meanings for common medical terms!

Artery

The study of paintings

 

Bacteria

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Back door to cafeteria

 

Barium

What we do when people die

 

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Benign

What you be, after you be eight

 

Caesarean section

A neighbourhood in Rome

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Cat scan

Searching for kitty

 

Cauterise

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She noticed me

 

Colic

A sheep dog

 

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Coma

A punctuation mark

 

Dilate

To live long

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Enema

Not a friend

 

Fester

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Speedier than someone else

 

Fibula

A small lie

 

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Impotent

Distinguished, well known

 

Labour pain

Getting hurt at work

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Medical staff

A doctor’s cane

 

Morbid

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A higher offer

 

Nitrates

After 8 pm at a sleazy motel

 

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Node

I knew it

 

Outpatient

A person who has fainted

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Pelvis

Distant relative of Elvis

 

Post-Operative

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A letter carrier

 

Recovery room

Place to do upholstery

 

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Rectum

Nearly killed him

 

Secretion

Hiding something

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Seizure

Roman Emperor

 

Tablet

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A small table

 

Terminal illness

Throwing up at the airport

 

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Tumor

One plus one more

 

Urine

Opposite of you’re out

 

Thank you to Brian for sending this in. If you want to read some other great jokes, click here. Or to submit one of your own to share with the Starts at 60 community, click here.