A man has an appointment with …

A man has an appointment with his doctor. Afterwards, the man’s wife is called in for a follow-up.

“Is my husband going to be okay?” she asks.

“He will be if you do everything I say,” says the doctor. “You have to prepare all his meals for him every single day. You also have to do all his chores and never nag at him. Most importantly, his feet and back need to be massaged three times a day. Do this for about a year and he’ll live.”

As the woman gets back in the car, her husband looks up.

“What did the doctor say?” he asks.

The wife sighs. “He said you were going to die.”

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