Stephen Fry says child sex abuse victims should get over it and grow up

He’s known as one of the funniest comedians in the world, but no one was laughing over Stephen Fry’s controversial

He’s known as one of the funniest comedians in the world, but no one was laughing over Stephen Fry’s controversial comments about child sex abuse victims.

The actor and comedian appeared on talk show The Rubin Report, where he said victims of sexual abuse should “grow up” and stop feeling sorry for themselves.

The show’s host Dave Rubin asked Mr Fry if he worried about “the regressive left, coming after language and free speech” to be an issue in Britain.

Mr Fry said he thinks people are too sensitive these days and that art and literature are being suffocated due to people’s fear over even using the words ‘rape’ and ‘murder’.

Fry said: “There are many great plays which contain rapes, and the word rape now is even considered a rape.

“They’re terrible things and they have to be thought about, clearly, but if you say you can’t watch this play… or you can’t read it in an English class, or you can’t watch Macbeth because it’s got children being killed in it, it might trigger something when you were young that upset you once, because uncle touched you in a nasty place, well I’m sorry.

“It’s a great shame and we’re all very sorry that your uncle touched you in that nasty place – you get some of my sympathy – but your self pity gets none of my sympathy.”

He added: “Self pity is the ugliest emotion in humanity.

“Get rid of it, because no one’s going to like you if you feel sorry for yourself.

“The irony is we’ll feel sorry for you if you stop feeling sorry for yourself. Just grow up.”

His comments drew instant backlash with people taking to social media to vent their anger over his comments.

“Stephen Fry’s comments on child sexual abuse are appalling. You do not tell a victim of something like that to just ‘grow up'”, said one angry commenter.

But others defended Mr Fry and his opinion.

“It’s really becoming tedious how hysterical people get over any public comments. Stephen Fry is entitled to his opinion… Carry on,” wrote one fan.

What are your thoughts? Was he out of line, or should he be allowed to say things like this?

Was Stephen Fry out of line with these comments? Or is it ok for him to share his opinion like this?

  1. Chris  

    I was a victim – in the very distant past. I actually agree with what Stephen Fry has said and I also think that he, indeed, has the freedom to voice his opinion……….

    • Johanna van Genderen  

      So was I, and I agree to a certain degree, one mustn’t put everyone in the same basket, not everyone has the ability to `get` over it so easily, it requires a certain strength of will to be able to do this, and even then ….did we really ???? let’s not tell people how they should live their life please and practice some compassion….

    • Hilry  

      I agree too. We all have the right to freedom of speech. We can choose to agree or rebut without fear or favour.

  2. Geraldine  

    What a silly comment to make….If you have been a victim of child sex you sometimes don’t even realise it until later in life.
    You do move on Stephen in life……but just never forget the memory of it.
    I don’t think I will follow any more of Stephen Fry’s work on TV …..
    Sometimes Stephen it is not a good idea to voice your opinion on matters like this in your type career path.

  3. roy bridges  

    disgraceful , thought he would know better, everyone deals with things different . He has a short memory when people had free speech about him.
    He wrong in the way he said it and highlighted one group.

  4. Gillian Hadley  

    Stephen Fry is a creep in the deepest sense of the word. He may be clever and an intellectual but he is NOT FUNNY! I avoid his programmes as I would avoid the plague!

  5. Joy Anne Bourke  

    I agree with Stephen Fry has said. 40-50 years ago the word “sex” was never mentioned and now because times have changed all these ex child abuse victims who want to remember all the bad times that happened when they were children and don’t want to get on with there life want to have their predators charged and jailed and it does not matter how many people in their 70″s and 80″s of how much hurt to their families are caused due to their own self pity all those years ago. This has gone too far. I have been in a similar position but decided to just live my life.

  6. Jeanette  

    I think Stephen Fry’s comments about growing up was relating to the victim mentality NOT the actual experience.
    While I truly feel for people who have been abused, not everyone reacts the same. Some people, no matter how bad it was, CHOOSE to get on with it. I guess we are all different though.

  7. we are such. ” namby pamby” society. Dont like someones opinion…lets crucify them. FGS we all have /had burdens to shoulder and pity gets you nowhere

  8. Kiwigull  

    As a ‘victim’ I do tend to agree that far too many have that “Oh woe is me” attitude. I’ve long since left it all behind where it belongs, and had an awesome life. Don’t dwell on the past, move onwards and upwards.

  9. As a victim I decided not to let abuse rule my life. It was awfull ,but it ended and I got on with my life. I do feel a mixture of sorrow and anger that many people seem unable to move on.Current society attitudes do not help .The victims life need not be “ruined ” as is often stated.

  10. Mal Pace  

    Sounds like a guilty conscience speaking! Wonder what or who has made him think that way….maybe he is in the “females dress to invite men” club! Loser!

    • Pamela  

      Sounds more like ‘voice of experience’ than ‘guilty conscience’ to me.

      Dwelling in the past is a lifestyle choice of many people for many reasons.

  11. Chris Mallett  

    Well how sad…..taking advantage of someone’s pain and suffering in order to grab some media headlines with judgment statements….shame on you Stephen Fry….you will have achieved nothing other than cause further suffering

  12. Wiso  

    Stephen Fry is quite correct in his statement. I too had this experience but I refuse to become a victim and choose to get on with life and be the best that I can be.
    There needs to be a statute of limitations to stop these litigations happening so long after the event because it doesn’t just effect the alleged perpetrator but so many of their innocent family members as well. With the victim attitude of these ‘child abuse victims’ they were never going to succeed in life anyway so I guess this as good a way as any to make a name for yourself and get some easy money.
    Well done Stephen Fry !!

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