The Attachment: Letters from a most unlikely friendship

An unlikely friendship is forged, initially by e-mail between Ailsa Piper who is 53 and a lady of literary prowess and Tony Doherty who is 78 and a very much respected Monsignor in the Catholic Church.

The Attachment is a non-fiction book to treasure and, also, one where you need to take your time to read. Just as their correspondence ebbs and flows so does our attentiveness and it is probably good to take a break when they do. Such is the literary skill of both writers that we are caught up in their web of stories/correspondence, however, not as prey, rather as willing participants.

Ailsa has written a book about her pilgrimage walk to Comino, Spain carrying with her the ‘sins’ or confessions of others that she has gathered (I wondered how many). Her book is given to Monsignor Tony Doherty who is so impressed that he contacts Ailsa by e-mail.

So begins our privilege of a personal view of their conversation. The Attachment opens with Dear Reader by way of introducing themselves, firstly Ailsa and then Tony. The scene is clearly and concisely set with ‘sin’ opening the way.

Their backgrounds are so very different, or are they? It emerges that Ailsa also has connections to Ireland. Her grandmother had a misty Irish softness and an Aussie Bush Resilience. Ailsa’s account of her early life is one of snippets expressed in beautiful language such as on her first sight of the ocean where she was shocked at the noise…… and no-one told me it roared.

Tony’s background is set in the city of Sydney where he was fortunate to attend Riverview College. How wonderful that the Irishman who purchased this site had the wisdom to stipulate that, “local boys without the wherewithal to meet the fees be given free tuition”. Tony can see the incongruity of their immediate friendship and gives Ailsa the title of shanachie (story teller in Gaelic). Hence The Shanachie and the Priest which, Tony writes has a special ring to it”.

I love the anecdotes that are not e-mail letters but are addressed directly to us as, Dear Reader. For example, Tony gives us a better understanding of shanachie and priest.

Ailsa and Tony are finally to meet in Melbourne through Tony’s publisher friend for a public appearance and discussion about sin. Amazing that on that morning newspapers feature Abuse Within the Catholic Church. It is at this stage in The Attachment that we see the prowess and sincerity of Tony. He again, enlarges on his views with an aside to Dear Reader. To me, his words are so very accurate and welcome (and happen to agree with mine). However, Ailsa does not agree about the “sorry” but does add her support and own opinion by saying, I will not delude myself into believing that it only happens in institutions run by Catholics, Anglicans, Salvos or evangelical, or in showbiz or sporting worlds… Abuse is happening everywhere.  

They both love playing with words and bounce off one another in an open, honest, sometimes tender, quite often humorous, (especially the story of the echidna and subsequent reply), and always thought-provoking open dialogue. Celibacy and death are two riveting topics in their letters. Ailsa is admirably willing to accuse herself of being stupid and careless in throwing words down in relation to the latter. Ailsa sees herself as an atheist but also sees their friendship as one enabling her to grow, you strive to see more than 50 shades of grey nuance. Tony sees death as, unfinished symphonies.

Tony’s empathy, caring and wisdom is so clearly part of his language. For example, grief is the price we pay for love. I found myself envying Ailsa her conversation ‘rites’ with Tony and so often wanted to answer his letters myself.

How can a book such as this come to an end? In the most unlikely, unexpected and heart-wrenching way. It was fortuitous that there had been this wonderful conversation over at least two years.

At the time of reading and in retrospective I would have appreciated that dates be attached to each correspondence. This is a minor detail in this so very enriching and entertaining account of life, family, friendship, love and loss, faith and the search for grace.

The Attachment by Ailsa Piper & Mons Tony Doherty is available now from Dymocks.