Life has certainly changed here in good old middle Melbourne, Australia along with the rest of the world. We are all supposed to be staying home, with very little travel, schools and businesses are closed, lockdown.
As many people as possible are working from home online, both husbands and wives, while they home school their children. Can their marriages survive? Shall they ask the grandparents to step in, to prevent cabin fever? I hope we all manage.
This is the Corona Retreat. We practise safe social distancing at home, scrupulously washing our hands.
As a crafter and writer, with an ever-present pile of books, I am born to self-isolate. As any knitter would say, ‘keep calm and cast on’. Maybe you could teach the grandkids to knit or crochet, or sew simple toys. They could craft scarves or beanies.
The Corona Retreat, for the greater good. So we turn on the media for more free anxiety, and read Facebook for more free hysteria. Then we can devise our own free conspiracy theories, playing the blame game. But we cannot take this virus too lightly. The sun still rises, the flowers are still blooming, the birds will still visit and sing, if we only listened.
The effect on this Corona Retreat on the Australian economy is going to be devastating. Yet Australians have lived through tough times and epidemics before. There is a very old saying, “There are no atheists in the trenches …”. Too true, even if you are not a praying person, we can all join in hoping for a vaccination for Covid-19. I am sure some clever person will invent an antidote, sooner, rather than later. This might make us immune, if we survive our Corona Retreat.
Meanwhile, here in middle suburbia, Dad, Mum and the kids are home together 24/7. Luckily they have the internet and smartphones. Good if Mum has a supply of the contraceptive pill, or we shall have heaps of little Australians in a few months’ time, our new grandkids.
Or have the Mums got the pill? Free anxiety as the media inform us that the pharmacists have run short of routine medications. Well, great.
What if NBN and Telstra collapse? The chicks who are Mormons and Amish in the United States have managed to survive life like this for years. Every red-blooded man’s dream. The little woman, barefoot and pregnant, making him apple pies, after collecting free-range eggs, before slaughtering and plucking the chook to cook for tea.
No more working women, heading off to the gym for a personal trainer, super-jogging, no more drinks or coffees with the ‘girls’, no more commuting. Free conspiracy theories, that is only number one.
The Corona Retreat. All our new grandkids will be breastfed and homeschooled to a ripe old age, while they learn basic reading, spelling and sums. We cannot take this virus too lightly, this is a scary epidemic.
Welcome to the Corona Retreat, with free anxiety! All available in what might become New Utah, middle Australia. Our Corona Retreat …