‘One owner, low maintenance: An analogy of how women are like cars’

Women are like cars. Well, comparing a woman and a car is not that far fetched. We need loving attention, some maintenance and fuel.

I must admit I get over-heated if driven too hard. I have needed a little calibration on the suspension and now I never leak oil. My headlights when I was 20 were on high beam, but might be pointing further south now. On the whole over the long years, I feel I have been a good investment.

I am rarely off the road and work diligently even now to fulfil my role. I think rather like a sturdy old car.

I have given great service even when suffering damage or needing repairs. Whatever the weather I am on duty. Ready to rock.

When he married me in 1959, he had owned a battered, but beautiful vintage car, which sadly he had to let go. I made it up to him, I had a shine to me, I was fresh off the assembly line. This was in the days when we did not allow anyone to test drive before buying! One owner now for 61 years. I guess I too am vintage. I rarely get a polish though, not even a rub down with an oily rag.

If given the right fuel I can go like a rocket, and that does not mean buying high octane for me. I can just as well motor along with a bottle of Aldi Pinot Griggio. Can’t go too fast, as the driver may need first aid, so preventing disasters means taking the slow roads. I don’t mind motoring along at a more sedate pace. We still love life and enjoy the adventure, so the slow pace suits us.

My engine starts around 6am and I am then chugging along all day until about 11pm. I am rarely off the road, providing him with all his needs. Sometimes though I am driven to distraction! It’s not a place I like to visit. Then I either need more choke or get close to choking him. Just joking he is the only person I allow to steer me through life.

My bonnet may be a bit broader and at times I could do with a bull bar, that would keep the delicate parts of me from getting attacked by shopping trolleys. Sometimes I long for the open road, the wind in my hair and no particular place to go. The only time I get revved up is if the music is rocking, then I can shake the chassis a little. Of course with my engine and worn parts have to pull up before I combust. Can’t have the engine seizing on us.

In winter I need my seat warmed and perhaps some hazard lights too if I have been out getting a fuel injection. But I hope to go on motoring with my driver and I hope there are a few more years on the clock yet.

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