‘I’m getting real about my cellulite insecurities’

In the Book of Life, it is written and commanded that many mature women turn into orange peel, with dimpled flesh on their thighs and booty. Yes, it is called cellulite, it expands and develops. We feel not so bootylicious anymore.

We can browse self-help manuals and websites, seeking to win this battle against our common enemy, cellulite. Are there any real solutions? We can aim for natural methods to remove this offensive blot on our bikini lines. We can reduce our body mass, eliminate certain foods, massage and scrub with mitts, and exercise fanatically.

There are other methods advocated by experts to remove this unsightly flesh on our once girlish figures. There are expensive creams, for topical self-massaging, there are the latest advance in laser therapies, or we can even be sucked into liposuction, or other costly therapies. Then we can read horror stories about how all these methods did not work, and the cellulite situation became worse.

What are we supposed to be battling? For whom? Is it all for the beauty industry? Cellulite basically occurs in lots of women, because our female bodies contain more fat than those of males. Our skin is thinner than a male’s. Thus any fat beneath the skin can push to just beneath the surface layers, and resemble a honeycomb. This can appear in many larger women of any age, or in women who exercise less. Exercise builds up muscle tissue, which tones our bodies, or is it our body image? Moderate exercise is good. Use it or lose it, at our age.

Sometimes, the tendency to develop cellulite is inherited from our mothers. The older we age, the more we can resemble our mothers, whether we consider this a positive or a negative aspect of our genetic heritage.

We are all in this process of ageing, which is what it is. The battle of the cellulite. Riveting. Still, it is interesting to read of solutions and success stories. I have had friends in my life who passed away when too young. They never got a chance to grow old, to whinge about cellulite, wrinkles and grey hair, as we who are left behind do.

Perhaps, these days, women in retirement are 60 shades of senile grey. Then the ageing males can look like grey haired lard butts anyway, or be bald as Sinead. Lord love ’em! Even Elle McPherson has turned 54 years old, and Kylie Minogue had her 50th birthday in 2018. Scary. When did our icons grow older, and commence this aging process?

Here I am, contemplating cellulite, reading of miracle treatments and cures! I suppose we must keep a sense of perspective. In 100 years, shall it matter? Some of us will have cellulite, some of us will win the ‘battle’. In a century’s time, practically everyone of Earth will be mere specks of cosmic stardust.

Who will win this battle of dimpled orange peel thighs and butts? Competing with teens is not our scene. It is good business for the beauty industry, which does not do much for anyone’s self-esteem. Cellulite — I’ve seen the light!

Do you worry about cellulite? Have you tried to prevent or hide your cellulite over the years?

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