It’s fair to say at some moment in time everyone has experienced a bad relationship or fall-out, but over time most of us learn to forgive and move on. But, according to global reports, one man from Thailand did the complete opposite and waited over 50 years before allegedly taking out his revenge on his childhood bully.
According to a report in The Daily Mail, the 69-year old pensioner – named Thanapat Anakesri – allegedly took his long-running grudge to the extreme by shooting his former tormentor at a school reunion party over the weekend. The man was invited to the event on Saturday afternoon to meet with past classmates from the school in Ang Tong, central Thailand.
Anakesri reportedly went over to confront his childhood bully Suthat Kosayamat, 69, at the reunion to ask him about the bullying when they were teenagers, but is claimed to have got upset when Suthat didn’t remember tormenting him. Thanapat then allegedly ordered the so-called bully to apologise but he refused, telling the pensioner to forget about it – and that’s said to be when things took a turn for the worse.
A fight is claimed to have broken out between the two men and Thanapat allegedly pulled out a handgun and shot his former classmate, who was later pronounced dead, before running away. The event’s organiser and friend of the alleged shooter told police Thanapat regularly complained about Suthat’s torment.
“Thanapat would get drunk then often talk about how angry he was about being bullied by Suthat. He never forgot about it,” he said, according to the news outlet. “But as these things happened such a long time ago, I would never have imagined that he would have killed his friend like this. We are all shocked by it.”
From family to friends, spouses to coworkers, we’ve all been wronged by someone at some point in our lives. Eventually, if left unchecked, those bitter feelings can turn into a nasty grudge, which can leave you in a state of anger and can actually have a pretty negative impact on your health overtime.
In fact, a 2016 study published in the Journal of Health Psychology, found living with stress and anger can take a toll on a person’s physical and mental well-being. According to the study, not holding grudges against other people can help you avoid stress and other mental health problems.
The research also found people who are more forgiving may have better stress-coping skills than people who aren’t so forgiving. Also, the study suggests if people were forgiving of other people, “this virtue alone eliminated any effect of stress on their mental health”.
“If you don’t have forgiving tendencies, you feel the raw effects of stress in an unmitigated way. You don’t have a buffer against that stress,” lead author, Loren Toussaint, told Time magazine at the time. “Forgiveness takes that bad connection between stress and mental illness and makes it zero.”
Meanwhile, online women’s magazine Bustle compiled a list of helpful tips for getting better at forgiveness instead of holding grudges. To get over a grudge, the publication recommends acknowledging your part, as in most cases, there’s always two sides to a story, break the thought habit and allow yourself to heal.
The magazine also advises investing in good relationships that lift you up using empathy to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and to accept the disappointment as part of life. Lauren Cook, a clinically practicing emotionally-focused therapist, told the publication: “Holding a grudge essentially means that you no longer trust the person and you are barring them from entry in your life.
“While it can be very healthy to set boundaries with someone after they have hurt us, holding a grudge adds an extra layer where you may feel like you’re putting a death grip between you and the other person,” she added. “Ultimately, this exhausts you in the process and grudges often lead to bitterness.”