‘Who’d bother?’ Aussie mum’s hilarious rant about ‘hellhole’ Bunnings Warehouse

A trip to Bunnings is a favourite pass time for many Aussie families eager to get in to some DIY and pick up a cheap sausage sizzle along the way. But for one mum the hardware store is anything but a slice of heaven, as she prefers to describe it as a “marriage destroyer” disguised as a “DIY paradise”.

While wandering through the many lanes of Bunnings may sound appealing to some who are looking to transform their home and garden, the mother gave an honest and hilarious account of what a visit to the store is really like. Taking to Facebook to share her opinion the Aussie opened up about all the things that annoy her off about Bunnings and admitted the very relatable thoughts that go through her head as she heads to the store with her family in tow.

Labelling it a “hell-hole”, the blogger known widely for her posts on page Far Kew, claimed the store can be damaging for relationships with even the “snag on some s**tty bread with onions” unable to help. Like many other families, the mum said to begin with everything seems easy with the kids excited about the miniature trolleys and playground but it soon goes down hill.

“Soon enough, while you are arguing over which length of hose you need, cart or no cart, wall mounted or not, kink rating (settle down) and multitude of attachments, they start to crack the s**ts,” she began. “But you’ve committed to this and they have to shut the hell up while you do this dance of decisions on a piece of f***ing pipe. That’s the first hurdle.”

The mum continued: “The next one comes when you don’t know if the goods you’re after are in aisle 44 or aisle 2. That’s a lot of ground to cover, even if Stuart the helper was able to guide you through this labyrinth of pain. Because if you’ve gone in to do this shit right, you’ll have selected the big flat trolleys that only have wheels that move at the back.

“So between aisle 44 and aisle 2 you are kneecapping strangers with this unwieldy beast and screeching at the kids to get out of your way. Sure, someone will suggest you pull it backwards, but then there’s the part where you NEED TO F*****G SEE WHERE YOU ARE GOING. Thanks for that advice, random stranger.”

Next is the manure aisle which the mum hilariously described as a testing procedure with the kids climbing of the bags of s**t, while you can’t decide what packet of “ass waste” to collect. Followed by the plant area which sets the nerves on a high as you worry about the children knocking over the pots and debate over what flowers will suit the space at home.

All the while the mum said there are the alluring cheap products like $18 saw horses which grab your attention and fire pits which all of a sudden seem like a really cool idea. And before you know it you have a trolley full of items all crushed together as you finally head to the checkout.

“Then you’ve got to pack the car. Get the kids inside before they get run over. Get the stupid flat bed trolley back to the bay,” she explained. “Then you get home and there’s been a cool change, the sun is gone and you can’t be f***ed doing any gardening.” Adding: “Bunnings. Who’d bother?”

The mum’s humorous review of Bunnings has received plenty of attention with over 3,800 comments and 2,300 shares from fellow Australians in fits of laughter at how relatable her description of a trip to the store really is. While there were some who claimed to love the store, many admitted a trip there is a lot of hard work with arguments always breaking out.

“I went to Bunnings with my husband mid-week last week,” one person wrote. “I bought what I wanted, then waited with a magazine (Bunnings magazine of course) until he finished (it took a good 30 mins).

“Got into a hilarious conversation with an old guy who manned the door. Told me some of the most hilarious husband/wife Bunnings stories. I really only go to Bunnings on my own. Can’t handle how bloody long it takes my husband to get what he needs!”

While another commented: “My husband hates Bunnings! I on the other hand love it, and I love going by myself so it’s a win for both of us. I often see families and couples and everything is a big adventure in the beginning but by the end of it the husband and wife are not speaking to each other or arguing and shouting at the kids. It’s a lesson in patience.”