A woman has revealed she was left “shell-shocked” when her husband of 25 years began “policing” her life and vowed to cut off her finances, despite her supporting him through multiple health scares.
Pleading for answers and admitting she’s been left speechless by her spouse’s actions, the woman took to grandparenting forum Gransnet to share her story, and said she’s now got no savings to support herself.
“He had two heart attacks last year, in CCU 12 nights, I visited every day, always for over 2 to 4 hours,” she explained, before adding that they both then got chest infections, forcing them to have thee courses of antibiotics and two courses of steroids.
“I feel very grateful to be alive,” she admitted.
She explained their 36-year-old son is an alcoholic, but he managed to behave “perfectly” when he stayed with them for Christmas. However, she claims her husband “hates” him.
Despite these struggles, she had no idea there was a real issue in her own marriage, and added: “My husband since finishing work has turned into a policeman. I can only use [the] washing machine once a week.
“He announced that instead of bathing once a week, he would have one every 3 weeks to save himself a few bob. He ranted yesterday that he does not intend to make himself poverty stricken by keeping me.
“There was no row, it was out of the blue. I worked full time as a senior nurse till I retired two years ago at 67. I had always paid all the bills, mortgage, gas, electric, phone, sky, as he was struggling with his lorries.”
She concluded: “I never saved a penny, just thinking that I would be OK when we retired. I had no idea that he apparently hates me like this. I didn’t know what to say.”
It got a huge response from other grandparents, with many suggesting she take the power into her own hands and leave him, while others speculated whether her husband may be ill.
“A first step would be to use the washing machine once a week and not bother to put any of his things in it. You shouldn’t tolerate this,” one wrote.
Another agreed, adding: “I assume you get an occupational pension as well as the state pension? If so what is all this about him ‘keeping’ you? Sounds as if you’ve been keeping him for years. Perhaps it’s time to leave and let him be poverty stricken all by himself.”
However one added: “How horrible for you. I’m wondering if he’s unwell? It does sound completely unreasonable. Is there anyone else in the family you could discuss his behaviour with?”
And another wrote: “How awful for you, he is probably feeling guilty for being a burden with his illness and his lack of financial contribution and took it out on you. That is not to excuse him. In your place I would tell him to leave the house that you have been paying for all these years. You do not have to put up with this, illness or not.”
The user went on to confirm her husband had been diagnosed with some health issues and needed to undergo cancer treatment, but many more users continued to insist it’s no excuse for the behaviour.