Planning a wedding should be a happy time, but it can also prove tricky especially when parents or grandparents try to interfere.
While grandmothers almost always have the best intentions, it seems that some just can’t help meddling where they’d be best to stay out of it. That’s the situation one mother — whose daughter is getting married in a year — has found herself in after revealing her daughter’s ‘well-meaning’ grandma is trying to call the shots.
Writing to The Mercury News advice column Ask Amy, the frustrated mum wrote: “The wedding is a long way off, but the nightmares are already beginning. My daughter isn’t the problem, but my mother is!”
The woman said that when she got married her mother continuously interfered, and now she’s doing the same with her daughter.
“When I got married my mother informed me it was NOT my wedding, but a celebration she was putting together and therefore she would call all the shots, which she did,” the woman explained. “I barely remember any of it because I really wasn’t involved in the planning.”
The woman said her daughter recently stayed at her grandma’s for a short visit and was surprised when her interfering mother bought her daughter’s wedding dress. She said her daughter didn’t even like the dress and they were forced to call the store to cancel the order.
The mother said her daughter and her fiancé now want to elope because of the drama and said that although she’s fine with it, she knows her daughter really wants a nice family wedding.
“I feel they are being short-changed, but no one can stand mom’s interference. Trust me, if you knew her, you would know there is no talking to her. What can we do?” She asked.
Amy advised the woman that if her daughter decides to host a wedding, she should not share any details with her grandmother, adding if the grandma chooses to come to they should not accept any money as this puts her in a power position.
Grandparents are some of the most influential figures in a kid’s life, but what happens when they overstep boundaries? It comes after the topic of meddlesome grandmothers lit up the call lines at Triple M Brisbane earlier this year when afternoon hosts Jane Kennedy and Mick Malloy were discussing an anonymous grandmother who crossed the line.
Kennedy opened up the subject with the horror story about a new grandma who snuck into the post-natal ward while her daughter-in-law was still recovering from her caesarean and held the baby before anyone else had a chance.
Perhaps worst of all though was a grandmother who didn’t like her grandchild’s name, so took them to her church and had them christened in her favourite name instead.
“My grandmother apparently was a dragon and hated my mother,” the caller said. “She took my brother to the local priest and had him christened the name she wanted.”