Planning a wedding should be a happy time, but it can also prove tricky especially when parents try to interfere. And for one woman, her decision to keep the guest list limited did not go down well with her partner’s family.
Writing to online forum Mumsnet, the bride-to-be has asked for advice on handling her soon-to-be mother-in-law, who is now refusing to go to her wedding unless a certain family member is invited too. The mother-in-law has also threatened to cut her son out of her will.
She wrote: “Partner and I have been together six years and planning on getting married next year. It’s a small thing and we have invited the people we want only instead of inviting every single person out of obligation and this includes extended family members.
“My partner has not invited one of his uncles (his mum’s brother) for several reasons: he hasn’t seen or spoke to him in over 10 years and he doesn’t like him, any memory of him has been extremely negative and my partner’s dad also really dislikes the uncle,” the woman continued.
“My partner has been told if the uncle isn’t invited then mil is not going (there’s also the possibility he will be cut out of the will if he doesn’t). For comparison, I haven’t invited one of my uncles for the same reasons and my family have respected my choice with no fall outs.”
The woman added they don’t have a great relationship with his mum and aren’t bothered if she decides not to come.
“Obviously he would like his mum to be there but his dad has said he’s going and that’s enough. We understand the loyalty she has to her brother and that extends to missing her son’s wedding. Are we being unreasonable for not inviting him?” she asked.
Readers were quick to offer their opinions, with many agreeing with the woman that it’s their wedding and their choice on the guest list.
“Threatening to take him out of the will if he doesn’t comply to her demands is insane,” one commentator wrote.
Another added: “Not at all unreasonable. Her loss if she chooses to be so petty and miss her son’s wedding.”
However, one user said she should try and keep it fair, adding: “I would try to keep it fair either invite aunts and uncles or not. But no, I would not pick and choose which to invite. That is me of course. If you want to pick and choose then you are entitled to do so, but you also need to live with the consequences of doing so.”
The bond between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can often be a tricky one. While some form a solid relationship from the beginning, it can take a little longer for others to get along.