Changing your surname after marriage is a tradition that has been upheld by women for centuries, and one many people believe is a huge part of marriage. However, more and more brides are now opting to keep their own.
But for one woman, her decision to keep the name she was born with did not go down well with her partner’s family. The bride-to-be has written to The Sun’s advice column Dear Deidre saying her mother-in-law is now refusing to go to her wedding.
She revealed that her fiancé, who is 26, is okay with it but said his mum is not onboard with the idea, believing it’s insulting.
“I told my fiancé I wanted to keep my surname after we marry. He’s OK with it but his mum says it is insulting and she won’t go to the wedding,” she explained. “I am 24, he is 26. I have talked to my girlfriends and they say there is nothing wrong with keeping your own surname.
“I have told him that if we have children, they will of course have his surname. I love my fiancé and am excited about getting married. But I feel like my surname is part of me. Am I being selfish?”
Deirdre assured the woman that there is nothing wrong with keeping her surname, before suggesting that some couples get round this by taking a double-barrelled name.
“Many women keep their own surname when they get married and there is nothing wrong with that. Some couples get round this by taking a double-barrelled surname,” she wrote.
“What matters is that you and your fiancé are happy with whatever you decide. Together tell his mum that this is a decision for the two of you, that you will be sad if she decides not to come to the wedding but you won’t give in to emotional blackmail.”
While more women are opting to keep their own, according to new research it could be affecting the way a man’s “masculinity” is perceived by others.
According to University of Nevada researcher Rachael Robnett, marital name changing can affect the way a man’s personality is regarded – and it is actually an indication of “the amount of power he holds in the relationship”.