Relationships

‘I can’t forgive my grandparents for writing Dad’s obituary without telling me’

May 13, 2019

A family obituary has caused huge tensions for one woman. (Stock image). Source: Getty.

A woman has received a harsh response online after threatening to confront her elderly grandparents at her father’s funeral – all because they published an obituary for him without telling her.

Taking to social forum Reddit, the 25-year-old woman admitted she didn’t have the money to pay for an obituary in the local newspaper, so instead chose to publish her own online.

However she later found out her grandparents, both 85, had paid to have their own published – with what she claimed were a series of mistakes and omissions, as well as not including any mention of her mother.

“Today I discovered an obit for my dad while googling his name for an estate question,” she claimed. “Looks like nobody else in the family knew about it either. It’s been published for a month. I recognize (sic) my grandfather’s writing. It’s riddled with omissions and errors, nothing about the upcoming service and they couldn’t even get the day he died right.”

She went on to claim she drafted an obituary of her own after her father died, before sending it round to other family members to contribute to. However, she claimed while other relatives took the opportunity to add their own words, her grandparents didn’t.

“It makes me so angry that they didn’t put in my father’s last words,” she added of her grandparents’ version. “That they knew I didn’t have enough to put mine in the paper and published one behind my back. Suddenly everything they’ve ever done and the way they’ve treated my family their whole lives makes me furious.

“I have choice words for them at the upcoming service, starting with how did they think that this was an appropriate way to behave?”

Many users on the site warned her not to bring family tensions to her father’s funeral, with one writing: “The situation with the obituary is definitely a frustrating one. But I think it would be very foolish to confront your 85 year old grandparents at the funeral service for their son.”

Another user agreed, adding: “No one will gain from you causing a scene at your dad’s funeral service, it’ll just add more stress for everyone and I’m pretty sure it won’t make you feel better either.”

And one wrote: “I have had multiple deaths in the family and in my friend group so I will sound harsh but: this doesn’t matter. Emotionally, for you, it does but this isn’t about your dad or your mom really.”

However one user insisted that there can be more than one obituary for a family member and wrote: “Who says they get to have the last word? I’ve seen more than one obituary for the same person. Crowd fund or borrow, and set the record straight, publish one with the acknowledgements and words your Dad would have wanted, You’ll never regret it.”